There You'll Be (Begin Again Book 1) Read online

  There You’ll Be

  Dawn Brower

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  There You’ll Be Copyright © 2017 Dawn Brower

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  EPILOGUE

  One Heart | to Give | Heart’s Intent | Book One | Dawn Brower

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  About the Author

  Books by Dawn Brower

  Dedication

  This book is for everyone who has adopted a pet and fallen in love instantly. My dog, Bella is a huge part of my family. One we never thought to have, but she is the brightest part of every day. It is amazing how much our fur babies become so integral to our lives. I am thankful each day she found a place in our hearts.

  PROLOGUE

  Carly Gallagher strolled into her office and tossed her phone on her desk. How could this have happened? The operation should not have gone down the way it had. Everything had been planned down to the last detail and yet... Images of an explosion flashed before her eyes. Logan was dead. There was no turning back time and saving him. Her misjudgment had cost him his life.

  “Carly...”

  She turned toward the sound of her name being called out and frowned. She didn’t want to deal with him either—her partner, Phillip Morrison. He was tall, several inches above six feet, and his red-orange hair cropped short, military style. “Go away, Phil.” His big beefy frame took up the entire expanse of the entrance to her office. He probably wanted to tell her it wasn’t her fault, but she knew better. It had been her call to make, and at the time she’d believed it was the right one. How wrong she’d been...

  “I’m not going to do that,” he replied. “You’re going to shoulder the blame for this and we both know that nothing could’ve been done to prevent...”

  She interrupted him and said forcefully, “Do we?” Carly stormed over to his side and glared up into his light blue eyes. “Are you sure about that? Because I’m not. There had to be something that we could’ve done to stop it from happening.”

  He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. A sign of affection that shouldn’t be broadcast in the FBI offices, but Carly couldn’t make herself care. It was a comforting gesture, nothing more. Phil would never make any actual advances on her. At one point in her life she had hoped he would—to no avail. She’d given up on a real relationship a long time ago.

  “It was an accident,” Phil said soothingly, his soft voice in direct contrast to his large size. Looking at him no one would be able to tell that he had a gentle side. Only Carly had the pleasure of seeing it. She wasn’t entirely sure why he let his guard down around her, but in moments like this one she was grateful for it. “Once the investigation is done you’ll see that.”

  She doubted she’d ever see it that way. Logan Crane was her best friend, and one hell of an operative. They’d gone through training together and he’d always had her back. It should’ve been a routine mission. She still couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. He’d gone into the building with his dog to search the perimeter. They were looking for a missing girl, and Logan’s search dog, Spike, was one of the best. Spike was a beautiful golden retriever. Somehow the dog had survived the blast and had been transported to a nearby animal hospital for treatment. Carly had no idea what would happen to the dog. She hoped he survived its injuries. Logan had loved that animal and treated him like a part of the family.

  The investigation would take a while. There was a lot of rubble to sift through and they still hadn’t located Logan’s body. The dog had come running out whimpering, but Logan had been nowhere to be found. Everyone assumed the explosion killed him. A part of Carly was hoping they were all wrong, but she couldn’t see how he could have survived it. The dog only lived because he had run out before the explosion went off.

  “The investigation will tell me exactly what I already know,” she scoffed. “Logan is dead. The rest is just details.” Information she’d demand on any other case. This one was different though. She should hand it off to another agent to take care of. “I can’t do this right now.”

  She tried to push past him but there was no moving Phil when he was dead set on staying in one place. He was a boulder too heavy to lift and she was fighting a losing battle. Carly beat against his chest and he stood there taking each blow. He brought his hands up and captured her wrists with them. “Stop,” he said quietly. “This isn’t helping.”

  “Nothing I do will, so what difference does it make?”

  “You’re breaking my heart,” he replied. “I want to do something to make it better.”

  “There’s nothing that you could do that would ever make any of this all right. So do me a favor and don’t even try.” She blew out a breath. “Please let me by. I want to go check on Spike.”

  “They’ll let you know what’s going on with the dog,” Phil said. “Why don’t you go home and rest. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.”

  That was the last thing she wanted to do. If she went home she’d stare at the walls and drown in the silence. Home wasn’t anything other than a place to lay her head down when she was weary. With the emotions currently running through her it would feel more like a tomb.

  “No,” she replied. “I’m going to the vet to check on Spike.” Carly glared at him. “Don’t try and stop me.”

  “I’ll go with you,” he volunteered. “You shouldn’t be alone.”

  “That’s sweet.” She smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m fine. I don’t need you hovering over me.”

  It would be nice if she could give into the urge to wrap her arms around him. Phil had been her partner at the FBI for several years. They’d been assigned together as a special team that investigated espionage. Through the years they’d brought down a lot of criminals. She suspected they’d do several more together too. They made a good team. Phil probably knew her better than most, but even he didn’t have a clue what her deepest darkest secret was.

  She loved him.

  Her feelings for him had grown day by day until she couldn’t deny them any longer. She kept them buried deep down inside of her because Phil wasn’t free to love her. He was married to someone else and it was wrong of her to even think of him as something other than her partner. He’d be horrified if he knew how she truly felt about him. She was his friend and partner at work—nothing more. So she couldn’t drag him down the path she was currently going down full-throttle.

  “Don’t argue with me,” he said gruffly. “I’m going with you and that’s final.”

  “Go home to Addison,” Carly said softly. “She’s probably worried about you. The explosion has been all over the news all day. You can’t tell me she hasn’t called.”

  Addison Roberts Morrison was a prestigious psychologist. She was soft spoken, sweet, and the epitome of grace. Everyone that met her loved her. Well, except Carly. There was something off about her but Carly had never been able to pinpoint it. She wanted to like her and tried to. Maybe it was because Addison had the one thing Carly craved—Phil. At
least that was what she kept telling herself. That had to be the reason Addison bothered her so much.

  “Addison will be fine,” Phil said. “She didn’t have the shock of her life today.”

  Carly wanted to give in and allow him to come with her to the vet. It would be easier on a lot of levels if Phil was there with her. Spike would remind her of Logan and she’d break down. No, she wouldn’t. Giving into emotions wouldn’t bring Logan back. She’d stay strong and do her best to keep herself in check. Being the boss meant she had to put on a brave front and do her job. Something happened in that building and she owed it to Logan to figure out what it was. If Phil wanted to tag along and babysit her, then so be it.

  “Fine,” she said. “Let me know when you get bored. I’ll let you off the hook so you can go home to your wife.”

  Phil frowned. “You don’t have to do that.”

  What the hell was he talking about now? “Do what?”

  “Pretend with me,” he replied. “Logan was a friend to us both. So I understand how you feel.”

  Carly held back the urge to curse. Phil had been friends with Logan too. They’d all been close. It was inevitable working so close together. There had been some get-togethers outside of work. Well, when they had time to breathe anyway. That didn’t happen too often. Carly didn’t have any female friends and hadn’t always gotten along with those of her sex. She did better with males. They, for her, were easier to understand. The cattiness that often erupted in female circles drove her insane. Pettiness and backstabbing wasn’t something she handled well. Logan and Phil were the only two people she let get close. There were a few underlings that she had a cordial relationship with, but that was business. Personal relationships were harder for her to maintain. Without Logan all she really had was Phil, and even him she held at a distance.

  “Don’t psychoanalyze me,” she retorted. “I don’t have time for that bullshit.”

  “Carly...” He sighed. “Fine, but if you want to talk about any of it I’m here.”

  “Shut up and let’s go,” she said tossing him the keys to her SUV. “You can drive.”

  She didn’t trust herself behind the wheel. It was probably good that Phil had insisted on coming with her to the vet. With her luck she’d cause an accident or some shit. Her hand shook as she brought it up to the passenger side of the vehicle and opened the door. That would be all she needed to fully crack—someone else’s possible death on her shoulders.

  Phil slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine. It was perfectly normal for her to make him drive so he hadn’t questioned it. Most of the time she hated being behind the wheel. Being the passenger gave her more freedom and flexibility. If she needed to take a call or do some quick research she could do so with ease. Phil, for his part, preferred driving. It was one of the reasons their relationship worked so well.

  They drove in silence to the vet. Phil pulled into a nearby parking spot and turned the engine off. He turned to her and asked, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  What else could she do? The reports from the explosion wouldn’t be in for days. She had to do something or she’d go stir crazy. “Don’t start again,” she warned. “Let’s go check on Spike.”

  She didn’t give him a chance to reply and slid out of the vehicle with practiced ease. After taking a reassuring breath she headed inside. The vet office was relatively quiet and empty. It was a little bit of a shock to her to find it that way. Was it not a busy day? Where was everyone?

  “Can I help you?” An elderly gentleman stepped out from a back room. He had snow white hair and soft brown eyes.

  “Yes,” she replied. “I’m Special Agent Gallagher. One of our dogs was brought here for care. I want to check on his status.”

  “What is his name?”

  The dog? He had to mean the dog. There was no way he could know about Logan and how much she already missed him. “Spike,” she offered. “He’s a golden retriever.”

  A bell jingled in the background announcing Phil’s arrival. Carly didn’t turn to greet him. It was already hard enough to deal with Spike without Logan there.

  “Ah, yes,” the old man said. “He’s a fine dog. The surgery went fine. We had to put a pin in his leg. The bone was too shattered to set.”

  “But he will be all right.” Please say yes...

  “Barring any unforeseen complications, yes, he will be.” He smiled warmly. “Are you his handler?”

  No. She closed her eyes and reminded herself to breathe. How many times a day would she have to do that before she’d do it automatically again? The pain shooting through her heart burned into a deep unending ache. “He doesn’t have one any more. When will he be all right to go home?”

  The doctor frowned. “Does he have a home?”

  He did—with her. She hadn’t realized she needed the dog until that moment. Spike would help her heal and in time she’d be able to handle Logan’s loss better. Phil rested a hand against her back. He understood her better than anyone.

  “He’s coming home with me as soon as you allow it,” Carly said.

  “Good.” The old man smiled. “He should be ready in a few days. I want to keep him here to monitor him. Would you like to see him?”

  “Yes,” Carly said stepping forward. She stopped and glanced at Phil. “Are you coming?”

  He nodded and followed behind her. They stopped in front of Spike’s cage. His golden fur was shaved around his front leg and a stark white cast covered most of it. Carly leaned over and kissed his head. “Everything will be fine, I promise.”

  It was one she intended to keep. When she was done the person who murdered Logan would rue the day they’d been born. No one hurt someone she cared about and got away with it. With that resolve settling deep inside of her she was ready to move on and face the world. She stood up straight and nodded at Phil. “Let’s go.”

  He didn’t say a word the entire time. His silence was enough to tell her what he thought. Phil wouldn’t push her—yet. When he believed the time was right he’d make her deal with her feelings. She couldn’t allow those to come to the surface. Not until Logan’s killer was brought to justice, and she would be the one to see it done.

  CHAPTER ONE

  One year later...

  Phil skipped the steps leading to Carly’s condo. He promised to stop by and feed Spike for her and he was running late. On some levels he understood why she’d taken in the dog, and on the other hand he didn’t. Carly had never been the pet owning type. She barely had time to take care of herself let alone an animal. If she’d been aiming for a companion of any sort a fish tank would’ve been a better option. Even with the aquatic creatures, he feared they might end up dead... She’d surprised him with Spike in more ways than one. They’d taken to each other and, in the process, Carly had a chance to heal. She’d taken Logan’s death too hard and it pained him to see her hurting. He would’ve done anything to take the agony from her, but he realized that was an impossible task. No one could bear that kind of burden for another.

  If they had captured Logan’s killer things would’ve been easier. As the days went by, catching them became a daunting task. After a while they had to set it aside. Leads were elusive and near nonexistent. The crime scene reports had come back with nothing. They hadn’t even managed to locate Logan’s body to bury. It was believed the explosion was so hot he incinerated on contact. That hadn’t sat well with Carly either.

  Phil paused, unlocked Carly’s front door, and then stepped inside. Spike was used to his presence and didn’t even flinch at Phil’s arrival. The dog had healed well, but wasn’t up to any active duty. The pin in his leg allowed him to walk, but too much strain and it might break down the muscles holding it together. It was good Carly had taken the dog in because he might not have found a home otherwise. Not too many people wanted to care for a lame dog.

  “Hey buddy,” he said as he brushed his hand over the dog’s head. “How are you doing today?” Spike lifted his gaze upward but didn
’t move. “Are you hungry? Carly is busy in meetings all day...” As if the dog understood what he was saying. It seemed easier to carry on a conversation with him. It was better than the silence echoing through the condo.

  Phil went to the cupboard and pulled out a can of dog food. He opened it up and dumped it into a bowl. It smelled disgusting, but Spike loved it. It turned Phil’s stomach as he set it down on the floor. “Come and get it,” he said energetically. Spike remained on the floor unmoving. Was something wrong with him? Should he call Carly? He’d hate to worry her for nothing.

  “Come on Spike,” he said pleadingly. “Have a heart. If something happens to you Carly is going to nail my ass to the wall.”

  Spike stood up reluctantly and brushed past Phil. He sniffed the food and then licked it, testing it for lord knows what. Phil didn’t want to hazard a guess. When the dog started eating more enthusiastically Phil let out a relieved breath. One last thing he’d have to stress over.

  There was something much harder for him to deal with on his agenda. He glanced at his watch and sighed. He had thirty minutes to get to the court house. “All right, buddy. I hate to leave you but I’ve got to run.” He leaned down and patted the dog’s head. “Look after Carly for me won’t you.”

  Phil rushed out of the condo and headed back to his vehicle. He pulled out of the parking lot as fast as possible and sped toward the courthouse. Going to court was never fun, but this particular time was one of the worst. He didn’t look forward to what was about to happen. When he arrived he pulled his car into a parking slot and cut the engine. This was not going to be pleasurable. He stepped out of the vehicle and headed inside. Outside the courthouse doors Addison paced back and forth glancing at her watch repeatedly.

  “You’re late,” she said.

  He rolled his eyes. “No, I’m not.”

  There was no use arguing with her about it. Addison was always right and didn’t bother to entertain anyone else’s opinion. It had been endearing when they’d met, but now it grated on his nerves. Strange how things could change that way...