Heart of the Moment Read online

  Heart of

  the Moment

  Heart’s Intent

  Book Three

  Dawn Brower

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Heart of the Moment Copyright © 2017 Dawn Brower

  Edits and cover art by Victoria Miller

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

  DEDICATION

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  **Read on for an excerpt from Kiss My Heart Goodbye: Heart’s Intent 4 (Sullivan and Lana’s story) **

  PROLOGUE

  About the Author

  Books by Dawn Brower

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

  This book wouldn’t be what it is without my fabulous editor. Big thanks to Victoria Miller for helping me create a better story.

  Thanks to Elizabeth Evans for being my awesome proofreader. I appreciate all you do for me.

  DEDICATION

  Cancer is one of those things that has in some way affected us all. Both of my parents were taken from me too soon because of different versions of this terrible disease. This book is for everyone who has survived it and for their family and/or friends that had the strength to stand by their side through it all. We all need someone to lean on from time to time.

  Take the time to appreciate your loved ones—you don’t know how much time you will have with them. If I could have one more conversation, hug, or smile from either one of my parents I’d take it in a heartbeat. There isn’t a single day that goes by that I don’t miss them and wish they were here.

  PROLOGUE

  Jessica Sousa rushed around the house making sure everything was in place. He’d be there soon and it all had to be perfect. It had been a long time since she’d felt excitement coursing through her veins. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d looked forward to anything.

  What am I doing?

  She shouldn’t be anxiously waiting for him to arrive. It was wrong what she planned on doing with him, yet she couldn’t help herself. She had to keep up the façade she’d carefully crafted or all she’d worked so hard for would fall apart around her. No one could know her life wasn’t as perfect as she’d claimed. Her husband worked long hours and practically ignored her. That part was her fault, or at least partially—after her miscarriage she’d pushed him away. She’d wanted that baby more than anything, and losing it had devastated her. Finding her way to crawl out of that grief had taken a long time, and in the process, she was on the verge of losing the one man she’d fought so hard to have by her side. Ren, her husband, had been her high school sweetheart and her first love, yet she found it too hard to turn to him.

  But Preston...

  Preston West was one of Ren’s colleagues, and also one of his only friends. He’d been so warm and caring, where Ren was angry and bitter. Preston encouraged her to be herself. He didn’t represent something she’d lost. With him, she could finally see a way past her misery and start living again. It felt—good. She could finally breathe and the hurt lessened with each passing day. Before she realized what had happened she’d developed feelings for Ren’s best friend.

  Now here she was, waiting for him to visit her. She was acting like a school girl with her first crush. He probably didn’t feel the same way she did, and even if he did, what would she do? Would she leave Ren for him? How would that change both their lives? It was a huge decision, and not hers alone to make.

  Jessica took one more look around the room. It was all neat and tidy...nothing was out of place. Her gaze landed on her wedding photo above the fireplace. She’d been so happy that day—now it brought sadness into her heart. Ren had never loved her, at least not the way she’d always loved him. He cared about her, always had, but Jessica understood who he’d really wanted. She was his second choice, and if Daniella Brosen had stood up and said she’d loved him... There was no question where Ren would have gone. Jessica would have been left in the cold, and Ren would have gone to Dani without a second thought.

  But she’d taken care of that. She insinuated that she and Ren were intimate and expecting a baby. When she’d told Dani that lie, the girl had run away to save herself more heartbreak—leaving Ren for Jessica to love without her interference. It took a while for Ren to get over Dani’s departure, but in the end, he’d returned to where Jessica thought he belonged, in her arms.

  Now she was standing in the home she shared with Ren, waiting for another man... Strange how she could compartmentalize things and change direction—Preston West gave her a reason to go on. Maybe that was selfish, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t really want to either.

  The doorbell chimed and echoed through the house. Jessica smoothed down her blue tulip skirt, fixed the matching blouse, and then blew out a breath. She could do this—be honest with him. Maybe she’d be lucky and he had feelings for her too. If he didn’t... He’d let her down easy. Preston wasn’t mean or petty, and he really had been a good friend through her ordeal.

  Her cerulean pumps clicked softly on the floor as she headed to the front door and eased it open with a smile pasted on her face. Preston stood on the front porch, more handsome than she could’ve imagined. His blond hair was a little ruffled from the wind and his golden-brown eyes were as warm as a hot summer day. Jessica stepped aside and waved for him to come inside.

  “You look lovely today,” he said and leaned down to kiss her cheek. “I was surprised to get your text.”

  She led him into the living room and turned toward him. How was she going to tell him? He stared at her expectantly, and she was dumbstruck. Should she blurt out the words? Could she even manage that much? They seemed to be lodged in her throat growing into a massive lump of nerves. “Yes,” she finally ground out. “I wanted to talk to you, and...” She swallowed and made herself calm down, at least as much as possible given the situation. “A text or phone call was too impersonal.”

  He nodded. “I gather its important then.”

  She believed so. What she was about to say could change both of their lives forever. If she could find a way to say it... Instead, she said, “Are you hungry? I can make lunch.” Stupid. He didn’t come see her to eat.

  Preston smiled affectionately. “I’m good. Don’t trouble yourself with feeding me. I can grab something quick later.”

  “It’s no trouble really...” Why did she keep insisting? He said he didn’t want food.

  “No, honestly, I don’t need anything.” He met her gaze. “Something is clearly bothering you. You know you can tell me anything. Come, let’s sit down and you can explain it all to me. Whatever it is can’t be as bad as you think it is—or I’m imagining.”

  Jessica bit down lightly on her bottom lip. He was right; all this was doing was making her even more anx
ious. She should get the words out and be done with it. The consequences be damned...

  “I don’t know how to say this...”

  He tilted his head appearing to study her. What did he see when he looked at her that way? Did he like her blonde hair and blue eyes? Was he pleased with her trim body? She’d worn blue, hoping to bring out the color of her eyes and entice him a little bit. Perhaps she should have chosen a more vivid color instead.

  He lifted her hands into his and made her face him. “What is it?”

  “I...” Damn it. The lump was coming back into her throat. Screw words; they didn’t mean much anyway. Actions said it best. She pulled her hands out of his, stepped closer to him, and wound her arms around his neck. Shock filled his face, but when her lips touched his—he reacted the way she’d been hoping. He pulled her tighter into his arms and deepened the kiss. His tongue touched hers and sparks of desire shot through her whole body. Need pooled between her thighs and for the first time in months she wanted to make love to a man. Not just any man—the one kissing her senseless. Nothing else mattered but the way he made her feel.

  He pulled back and stared down at her. “What are we doing?”

  “I think it’s rather obvious,” she said breathlessly. “Kissing isn’t a complicated process.”

  “No,” he said. “This can’t happen.” He took a small step back. “Ren...”

  Damn Ren to hell and back. He didn’t want her—not in any way that mattered. She was his conciliation prize. Jessica never should have stood for being second best. She deserved far more than her husband had offered her over the years. He was kind and considerate, but they’d never had any true passion. He’d not made her feel one iota of what Preston had with one kiss. She’d not let Preston walk away from her. Perhaps it was a mistake, and yeah maybe she’d regret it one day, but she wanted to know what it was like to be loved by him. More than anything, she wanted to shed the numbness that had overtaken her and feel...

  “Don’t,” she urged him. Jessica closed the distance he’d tried to gain and placed her hand on his chest. “I can’t ignore what’s been bottled up inside me anymore. I need you, and only you. Please Preston...”

  Preston pressed his lips together into a firm line. The muscles in his cheek twitched. His eyes appeared to be filled with agony and indecision. He must be at war with himself. She could appreciate that as she’d done something similar not too long ago. Finally, she’d given up and contacted him. This was what she wanted, and he did too or it wouldn’t be so hard for him to say no. She could tell when he’d made his decision. His expression seemed—resigned. As if they were inevitable and he’d always known it. Well, now they both did.

  He lifted his hand and cupped her face. “Are you sure? If we go any further there will be no going back...” Preston lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “I won’t let you. This craving inside of me—once unleashed, it won’t be tethered.”

  Jessica nodded and licked her lips. “Love me.”

  He didn’t need any more words of encouragement. Preston leaned down and pressed his lips to hers once again. His mouth was pure sin, and he kissed her like she’d never been before. Nothing compared to the taste of him. It was passion, longing, and desire all rolled into one package. His hands skimmed her skirt and rolled it upward until his hand hit her thigh. He trailed kisses down her neck and stopped when he reached her breasts. His tongue trailed down the juncture between them. Jessica moaned as pleasure shot through her again. Her whole body was sensitive and she writhed under his touch.

  “I need you,” she begged. “Please.”

  “I’ve been waiting too long to rush this.” He whispered in her ear, trailing kisses in his wake. “I’m going to savor every inch of you, and before I’m done, you won’t question where you belong. This is our beginning, and I’m never letting you ignore what’s between us again.”

  “I won’t,” she promised.

  Preston lifted her into his arms and carried her out of the room. She directed him to her bedroom—perhaps she should have had him go to the guest bedroom, but hadn’t considered it in the heat of her desire. He set her down and peeled off her skirt and blouse tossing them aside. She leaned back on the bed in her panties and bra. His hot gaze skimmed over her and sent tingles of anticipation over her. Preston loosened his tied and pulled it over his head, and then slowly unbuttoned his shirt. It draped open to reveal a well-toned chest Jessica wanted to explore with her tongue. Down girl... Soon she’d be able to do all she wanted to his delectable body.

  After he was done undressing, he joined her on the bed. He tasted every inch of her, making her scream with pleasure, and when he finally came inside of her Jessica felt as if she’d finally found where she belonged. Preston was who she belonged with—who she should have planned a future with. She’d made so many mistakes, and it was time she realized it.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  Preston rolled off of her and she met Ren’s gaze. The horror in his eyes made her question every decision she’d ever made. She glanced over at Preston and saw the same dismay reflecting back. They both had dived in thinking only of themselves and what they wanted. She should have ended things with Ren if she wanted to be with Preston. She’d done what she’d always had—thought of herself first, and now she might have ruined her life and Preston’s too.

  He deserved better than her. She should never have texted him to come see her. In her defense, she didn’t expect Ren to show up in the middle of the day. When had he ever come home early? Never, as far as she recalled, but none of it mattered. One thing was perfectly clear though... She’d fucked up. Again.

  Her selfishness would always be her undoing, and now she’d blown her whole life apart. Would either of them ever forgive her?

  CHAPTER ONE

  Two years later...

  Jessica sat in the exam room and fidgeted. These types of appointments always made her nervous. What female on Earth enjoyed their yearly examine with their gynecologist? If hard pressed, she wouldn’t be able to think of one. It was a necessary evil though, so she made sure to come in and go through the process.

  The door opened on a soft click. Jessica glanced up expecting the doctor, but was surprised to see a nurse come in instead. She didn’t recognize this one. She’d been a patient of Dr. Albright’s for some time and thought she’d been introduced to his entire staff. This nurse must be a recent hire. She glanced up at Jessica, and her blue eyes opened wide.

  “Oh my,” she said. “I didn’t realize you were the patient.” Was she expecting a different patient? How was Jessica supposed to respond?

  She was puzzled at the nurse’s weird outburst. Did the nurse know her? Jessica didn’t recognize her. She had blonde hair, around the same shade as her own, pulled away from her face in a springy pony tail. It might even be the same length as hers, but Jessica would have to see it down to know for certain.

  “I’m sorry...” Jessica was at a loss for words.

  The nurse smiled at her. It was one of those stupid, happy grins that people sometimes get when they see someone they adore. It took her back a little bit because, for the life of her, she didn’t know who the hell she was. She didn’t look familiar.

  “It’s Imogen.” When Jessica didn’t say anything else, she said again, “Imogen Duncan. We were in the same sorority house in college. You were a couple years ahead of me.”

  Jessica still had no clue who she was, but smiled encouragingly instead of telling her that. She had been rather selfish in college and ignored anyone who couldn’t be of use to her. This Imogen probably had foolishly looked up to her. Jessica was no role model. She’d made too many mistakes in her life to ever be one. “Right,” she said. “You look—different.” A lie. She hated doing it, but she didn’t want to hurt the woman’s feelings. The truth was she hadn’t the foggiest idea if her appearance had altered in any way. Why had she been so self-centered? It sickened her to realize that there were probably a lot of Imogens in her life. Former acqu
aintances she hadn’t bothered to give a damn about and wouldn’t recognize if she ever saw them again.

  “It’s the hair,” she said. “I decided to be bold and daring. It suits me much better than mousy brown.”

  The color was much lighter than brown? Was she trying to emulate someone or did she just decide to bleach her hair for fun? Jessica mentally rolled her eyes and reminded herself to think kind thoughts. Imogen could do whatever she wanted to with her hair. “It’s nice,” she replied. That was the truth anyway. The color did suit her complexion. She wasn’t comfortable with the direction of their conversation. All she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and ignore her past. Imogen made her feel all kinds of uncomfortable. There was something off about her—she was almost too cheerful. “How long have you been working for Dr. Albright?”

  “About a month.” She grinned. “So you and Ren married? I didn’t make the connection on the chart—Jessica Sousa. If it said Jessica Clarke I might have.”

  A pain hit her smack in the middle of her chest at the mention of Ren. He was happily planning a life with Dani now. She’d messed that up royally, and Preston kept trying to reach out to her. They’d had some meaningful conversations, but she made sure to keep him at a distance. Her life was a disaster. It was better for him to be kept out of the path of Hurricane Jessica. He deserved far better than she could ever give him.

  For a while, she thought she had to make things right with Ren and win him back. She’d laid it out and used everything in her arsenal, but he saw through it all. He was with the person he should have been with from the start. Ren and Dani had a love that was as inspiring as it was sickening. Jessica wished them well even as it hurt to watch. She’d never have that with anyone, and rightfully so. If not for her actions, they might not have been separated for so many years.

  None of that mattered though. She’d made peace with them both and was working on moving on with her life. Her therapist encouraged facing her past and seeking forgiveness. Jessica should try to reach out to Imogen and be a better friend. She wasn’t sure if she could call their past relationship friendship when she didn’t really remember her. Of course, that was the point of doing something different now that they’d reconnected. This was her chance to really be a friend to someone else. She didn’t realize Jessica had trashed her marriage to Ren.