Heart of the Moment Read online

  Jessica jumped up and went over to her computer and hit the power button. The hum of it starting filled the room. She danced around on her tiptoes, waiting anxiously for it to boot up. When the monitor blinked on, she leapt at the keyboard pulling it closer to her. Sitting down was out of the question—she was too keyed up to bother. After she opened up a browser, she rapidly typed in the website for her bank account and logged in. When her bank account details opened up she froze in place.

  Not only was she broke—she was in debt. There was a negative balance in her checking account in the sum of over five thousand dollars. As to her savings account, it was nonexistent. It had a zero balance and she had no cushion to fall back on. Her trust fund paid out quarterly and it had recently been dispersed. She had to wait another three months before she saw any money. How was she going to cover the negative balance in her checking account? By the looks of it, they had paid all her checks and charged her the corresponding fees. On one hand her bills were technically paid, but she still had to pay the bank back. In a nutshell, she was screwed.

  “Fuck,” she muttered.

  Bella trotted into the room and sat down beside her. She stared up at Jessica adoringly. Poor puppy had no idea what a mess they were both in. When she’d adopted her, Jessica had thought she’d have no trouble taking care of her. Now she wasn’t even equipped to help herself. How would she continue to feed them both after this mess? Even if they found her accountant, it wouldn’t straighten out the mess immediately. It would probably take months to unravel, and even then there was no guarantee she’d get her money back. Tears fell from her eyes and streamed down her cheek. She wiped them away furiously. This would not be her defining moment. There had to be a way out of the mess she was in... Unfortunately, no answers were making themselves known, and if she didn’t see a solution soon she’d be forced to file bankruptcy or worse.

  And there was something worse... The amount of money she was overdrawn was felonious. The accountant paid most of her bills, but she still wrote an occasional check from time to time. She just made sure to send him an e-mail when she did so he could balance the books. Those checks she was responsible for, and if they went unpaid, she could end up in trouble because of it. If she didn’t find a way to pay it all, she could end up in jail. Her accountant may have stolen all her money, but her creditors wouldn’t care about that. Especially since she’d signed some of those checks. The detectives hadn’t been fully aware how much the accountant had screwed her. Once they figured it out, they might be back to arrest her. If that happened, how would she be able to hire an attorney?

  “Oh, God...”

  Jessica slumped to the floor and curled into a ball. Bella trotted over to her side and licked her cheek. She might be a chaotic mess of uncertainty, but at least she had her puppy. Without thinking she pulled the dog into her arms and cuddled with her. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she unleashed all the misery she’d been bottling up inside of her. First, she had her illness and now she had to deal with the prospect of poverty. How had her life become such a fucking disaster?

  “What am I going to do?” Jessica hiccupped and made herself sit up. Lying on the ground and crying her eyes out wasn’t going to solve her problem. She had one friend she could call. Lana may or may not be judgmental, but she’d been there for her. It was time to tell her everything and hope she’d be able to help her see a clear path. Either way, it would be good to talk about it with someone other than her therapist. Jessica had never really had a true friend. It was still foreign to her that Lana insisted on spending time with her.

  Before she called Lana, she’d have to clean herself up. She probably looked horrid from her torrential crying episode. “Come on, Bella,” she said. “It’s time to face my problems. I’m going to wash my face and try to limit the puffiness to my face.”

  The dog barked happily, and Jessica had to wonder if she understood what she was saying. It didn’t really matter though because it was nice to have the dog to talk to. It helped to alleviate some of her loneliness. She headed toward the bathroom and turned on the water. When it was warm enough, she soaked a wash cloth and wrung it out. She washed her face and gloried in the heat from the cloth on her face.

  It was amazing... When she was done, she stared at herself for several moments. She still looked horrible, but at least she didn’t appear to have been crying. Now she had a reddened face and the fresh scrubbed look going for her. Jessica shrugged and threw the wash cloth into the hamper. She’d have to make do with it and hope the redness dimmed before Lana arrived. Chances were it would, especially since she still had to call her to come over.

  “I hope she’s not working...” Jessica bit her lip. She hadn’t even considered that her new friend might not be available. Damn her and her selfishness. What was she going to do if Lana wasn’t available? Go to the hospital and track her down? That was a ridiculous idea, yet it appealed to her. She had to take a break at some point, right? First, she’d call her and figure out if she was available and deal with the situation after she had all the information.

  Jessica walked out of the bathroom and headed toward her bedroom. She’d left her phone on her night table to charge. As she was about to pick it up, her doorbell rang. Maybe Lana was stopping by? That would be serendipitous....

  She stopped in front of the entrance, smoothed down her shirt, took a deep breath, and then pasted a bright smile on her face before she swung the door open. Her lips faltered at the sight before her. It wasn’t Lana, and she wasn’t sure if she could handle him. Not when her insides were a tornado of uncertainty.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Preston brought his hand up to his chest and said mockingly, “And here I thought you’d be glad to see me.”

  Jessica almost smiled—a real one, not the fake one she’d forced onto her face. A part of her was happy to see him. The part of her that would always love him and want him in her life, but with the disaster her life was becoming, she didn’t want to inflict herself on him. He didn’t deserve to deal with all of her baggage. Instead of running into his arms and receiving the comfort he could give her, she held herself in place. No matter how tempting it was, she would hold on to her resolve. She lifted a brow and replied, “I’m not in the mood for games. If you’re here to make my life more difficult you can turn around and go back the way you came.”

  “Oh, love,” he said earnestly. “This is no game, and I’m not playing.”

  He pushed past her and walked inside. Damn, she forgot how pushy he could be when he believed he was in the right. What little nugget had crawled into his brain and made him think he had to invade her personal space? Had he found out about her illness? She hoped not... Maybe she still had time to get him to leave before things got ugly.

  “I didn’t invite you in.” She held the door open wide. “Do me a favor and leave.”

  “Can’t do that,” he replied and headed into her living room.

  Bella barked happily and ran over to Jessica. At least she could always count on the dog to make her feel good. She sighed and closed the door. This wasn’t going to be easy, and by the looks of it Preston wasn’t going to leave without a full-blown confrontation. He must know about her illness. Why else would he be digging in his heels? She wrapped her arms around herself and stared down at the floor. This was the last thing she needed after the blow she’d been dealt by the detectives earlier. Preston should be her safe haven, but instead he was the one she was most afraid would discover how weak she was.

  “Well, you’re here. Say your piece and let yourself out.” She was barely able to stop her voice from shaking as she spoke. “I’ve already had a bad day, and you’re making it astronomically worse.”

  Preston turned toward her. She didn’t lift her gaze to meet his—instead she focused on the direction of his feet. It was easier to keep track of his movements that way. If she gave in and looked into his eyes, she’d be a goner. She wouldn’t be able to stop herself from throwing her arms ar
ound him and kissing him senseless. It was something she wanted too much...

  “Tell me about it,” he said softly. He moved closer to her and she tried to take a step back. Preston was faster than her and brought one of his hands to her waist to hold her in place. Then he lifted his other hand to her chin and lifted it upward so their gazes met. “I’m not an ogre. I want to help, please let me.”

  Why did he have to be so damn wonderful? Her heart shattered inside of her as she fought her need and what she believed was best for him. If he kept pushing, she’d give in and let him back into her life. He didn’t realize the favor she was doing him by pushing him away. He was too good for her.

  “I can’t,” she whispered. “It’s...” Jessica swallowed down the lump in her throat and choked back the tears threatening to spill once again.

  “You can tell me anything,” he insisted. “I’ve told you that so many times I’d have thought it would have been ingrained.”

  Talking was out of the question. If she did that, he’d know everything. She’d been wrong; if he was aware of her illness, he’d already have confronted her about it. She would not tell him she might die. Besides, there was always a chance she’d live and then she’d look like a liar. Her appointment with the oncologist was in the morning. Maybe after she saw him—no, either way, she wasn’t going to let Preston in on that particular secret. That was equally true for her financial woes. Whatever the following days brought her, she would not be a burden to him. But maybe there was a way to distract him from it all and give her something she craved more than anything.

  “Knowing that I can tell you anything is nice,” she agreed. “But I don’t need you to be my rock any more. I’m capable of standing on my own two feet and facing my problems. This might be hard to hear, but I don’t need you.”

  A lie... One that was so hard to utter, but she had to hammer her point home or he’d keep pounding away at her. She had a better idea of what they could do with their time. One that didn’t require words.

  He shook his head. “I’m glad you’re strong enough to fight your own battles. Is it so wrong that I want to be there to see you do it too?”

  No. It wasn’t. In a perfect world, she’d welcome him at her side. Unfortunately, nobody ever promised they’d have it all. She’d learned that lesson the hard way. “Too bad I don’t want you there.” Jessica brought her hand up to cup his cheek. She missed him so much. “But there is one thing I do want.” Without saying another word, she pressed her lips to his. Sparks ignited immediately inside of her. This was what she’d been craving for so long. The touch she’d been denying herself, but no more. If she was going to lose everything, at least for one more night she’d have this. Him and all that entailed...

  CHAPTER NINE

  Preston wasn’t sure what to make of Jessica kissing him, but he wasn’t about to stop her either. She had a hold on him that he couldn’t—no, refused to—shake. This kiss sparked a memory in him that he reveled in. The first time she had kissed him he’d been lost to her. Her lips on his was something he’d been craving for some time. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d kissed her... Her yo-yo attitude had been driving him crazy for weeks.

  Something wasn’t right, and he was going to figure out what the hell was going on with her once and for all. He couldn’t take it anymore. That was the whole reason he’d come by her house. She was going to tell him the real reason she kept pushing him away. The answers she kept giving him didn’t quite ring true. As much as he hated taking a step back, he had to put some distance between them or he’d give in and carry her to bed. With much reluctance, he stopped kissing her and let her go. Her lips were plump from his kisses. She stared up at him through a hooded gaze.

  “Why did you stop?” She stepped forward, and he retreated backward. “Are you afraid of me?” Jessica teased. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a coward.”

  Preston closed his eyes briefly and took two deep breaths. It wouldn’t do to give into her taunts. They’d be back at square one if he let her get her way. Taking her to bed was high on his list of wants, but it wasn’t at the top. At least not until he was able to understand what her motivations were.

  “Darling,” he replied boldly, “nothing you could possibly do or say would terrify me.”

  “That’s debatable,” Jessica said brazenly and licked her lips. “But we’ll save that game for another day. I have other things in mind for tonight.”

  How was he going to continue resisting her when all he wanted to do was give in and take what she was offering? He only had so much patience, and she’d already driven it to an all time low. This wasn’t going to work. He couldn’t handle it the way he thought he’d be able to.

  “Really?” He stepped toward her, unable to stop himself. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

  She brought her hand up to his arm and trailed her fingers upward. “It involves you naked and in my bed. The rest will depend on how good you are.” She leaned in closer and winked up at him. “Or rather how bad.”

  He hardened to the brink of pain at her teasing. She would be the death of him if he allowed it. Preston wanted her, and damn it he was going to take everything she was offering him. Later, if he had any brain cells left, he’d question her and figure out what was going on. For now though, he didn’t have the will power to deny himself the pleasure of having her in his arms.

  “Oh, I can be bad,” he reached for her, yanking her into his arms. He leaned down and whispered in her ear. “The question is, will you be able to take everything I dish out?”

  “I can,” she promised. “Why don’t we see if you can make me beg...”

  Preston would do that and more before the night was over. He hoped to God this wouldn’t be his last night with her, but if it was, he’d ensure it was one worth remembering. She was worth fighting for, and this might be the way he could make her see what they had. Jessica could be stubborn and sometimes actions were the way to get through to her. He pressed his lips to hers and let himself become immersed in her. The scent, taste, and touch all absorbed into one overwhelming sensation. Jessica moaned and pulled herself closer to him, and he lost all reason. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.

  When he reached the room, he didn’t bother flicking on the light. He was familiar with the layout and used that to his advantage. Preston set her on the bed and slowly undressed her. He kissed every inch of her as he removed each article of clothing until all she had on was her bra and panties.

  “I’m going to ask this once.” He brought his hand between her thighs and caressed her through her panties. “Are you sure you want this. We can stop now and talk like two adults.”

  A part of him wanted her to stop them—the part that needed more than sex from her. The wicked part of him though prayed she demanded he continue. He was at war with himself and wasn’t entirely sure which side he wanted to win. Either way he feared he’d be the loser in this battle of wills. She had the upper hand, and most of the time he didn’t mind that. Today though—he wanted to make her see how much she needed him. If he didn’t find a way to turn the tables, he wouldn’t have any victory to celebrate.

  Jessica moaned as he continued to caress her. She didn’t make any moves to answer his question. Perhaps that was her way of avoiding the situation. If she didn’t voice any objections she could deny ever truly wanting him. That wasn’t going to work for him. She had to be fully on board with this seduction—the one she initiated—or he’d walk away. It would be painful, in more ways than one, but he’d do it. He lifted the edge of her panties and slid his finger underneath. She jumped as he pressed against her clit. He rubbed the tip of his finger against her sensitive flesh and she moaned with each stroke. Once she was fully writhing, he withdrew and stepped back.

  “What are you doing? Don’t stop,” she begged. “I need more.”

  “So do I, love,” he said. “More than you’ve been willing to give me.”

  That was an understatement
. She’d been playing a game only she knew the rules to. The winner, as far as he could tell, was her, and even she looked miserable. He didn’t understand why she insisted on pushing him away, and maybe he’d be able to finally figure it out.

  “Please touch me.” She whimpered. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

  “Anything?” he asked.

  “Yes, damn it,” she exclaimed. “But I need you now. I’m...” She wriggled on the bed and moaned. “So close...”

  He unbuttoned his shirt and let it hang open. She sat up and unfastened her bra and tossed it aside. For a moment, he was transfixed and couldn’t look anywhere but at her perfect breasts. He had to taste them and moved toward her to do it. Preston leaned down and brought one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked.

  “Yes,” Jessica said. “More.”

  He’d give her everything she demanded and then he’d have her pliant in his arms. She’d answer his questions and maybe they’d be able to move forward with their lives. He wanted a real relationship with her. The scraps she kept tossing him would never be enough.

  He released her nipple and moved over to the other one. She was so wonderful, and he’d never have enough of her. Preston moved his hand downward and pushed her panties down her thighs. She brought her legs up to give him more room to work with and he pushed them past her knees and down her ankles. She kicked them off the bed. Jessica was completely and gloriously naked. Preston trailed kisses down her belly and stopped at the apex of her thighs. He had to taste her everywhere and set out to do it. He kissed down to her center and licked her clit. Her moans of pleasure encouraged him to continue. He sucked the sensitive nub into his mouth and she screamed as her orgasm hit.