Better as a Memory (Begin Again Book 2) Read online

  “Sweetheart…”

  “No.” She stayed firm. “Don’t try to charm me into something I don’t want to do. I’m staying here and that’s final.”

  Cain stared at the woman he loved and frowned. Why wouldn’t she see reason? There could still be danger in the area. What if one of Garcia’s men got past them? They could head in her direction and there would be no one around to help her. He couldn’t let her stay. It went against everything inside of him to allow it.

  “I’m not trying to control you.” He really wasn’t. This was about keeping her alive. “It is still dangerous here. We can come back after we’ve done a full sweep of the area. Please don’t make things difficult.”

  “Difficult?” She raised an eyebrow. “Do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now? The little woman is throwing a temper tantrum—”She air quoted the words as she spoke. “—so try making her feel ridiculous instead of understanding what she wants. Sometimes I wonder why I even like you.”

  Cain pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and controlled his inner turmoil. She was stressed. It wasn’t every day you found out your father was an evil mastermind of a criminal organization. He could give her a little leeway for having an awful day. Well, it wasn’t completely bad. They’d made some progress with their relationship before her father interrupted them. They still had a long way to go.

  He turned to Carly and said. “Can you give us a few moments?”

  She nodded. “I’ll have Phil help me escort the senator to the car.” She spun on her heels and left the room. When she came back a big burly man with reddish orange hair followed behind her. He practically threw the senator over his shoulder and carried him out. Cain shook his head as they exited. Phil’s size never ceased to amaze him. The man was a beast.

  “Now that we’re alone, let’s talk about what’s really bothering you.”

  “You can leave with them,” she said. “I promise I’ll be fine on my own.”

  What would it take for her to realize he wasn’t leaving her? He’d made a mistake the first time. Cain had thought he’d explained it all, and that she’d understood. She was edgy and apparently waiting for him to bolt. A part of him couldn’t blame her, but she’d find out soon enough he’d always be there for her. And if what the senator has claimed was true… There wasn’t a chance in hell he’d abandon her and his child.

  “Baby I’m not leaving you here.”

  “I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I’d be leery of getting involved with me. My father is evil. What if I’m evil and don’t know it yet?”

  Was that what was bothering her? He never ever compared her to her father. All right he had investigated her, but more to clear her of any suspicion. A part of him had always known she was innocent. He refused to believe anything else. “You are not your father. Don’t you know that? You’re so much better than he could ever be. Don’t doubt it ever again.”

  “How can you be certain?”

  “I know it in here.” He tapped his chest. “I’ve never been in love before. The first time I saw you I was gone. Trust me.” Cain pulled her into his arms. “That’s an amazing thing in itself. I thought my heart was frozen solid. Loving you unthawed it and made me come to life again. Something evil wouldn’t have been able to accomplish that.”

  “I’m scared.” She buried her head into his shoulder. Tears were falling from her eyes. “Everything I thought I knew or understood has been a lie. What if I’m make the same mistake again?”

  “That wasn’t your mistake. Your father is responsible for his actions.” He didn’t want her to blame herself for any of it. “You’re not him. Sometimes people let us down. It’s part of life. When it happens we put it aside, learn from it, and move on. It’s all we can do to survive each day. Didn’t you say before no one was perfect? I hate to tell you this, but that applies to you too. You’re allowed to be wrong from time to time.”

  “You’re right. I hate it, but you are.” Belle lifted her head and stared into his eyes. “What happens next?”

  That was a very good question. He wasn’t sure he had the answers to give her. Cain knew what he wanted, and hoped beyond all hope she felt the same. He’d have to lay it all on the line and give her an out if she needed it. His heart hurt at the idea of her pushing him away. If she denied her feelings and decided she couldn’t be with him… No, she wouldn’t do that to them. She might be scared now, but she would realize they belonged together.

  “I didn’t want to discuss this until later.” He leaned his head against hers, their foreheads touching. “But I need to know the truth. Is what your father said…” He had trouble voicing the words. He gulped down a lump in his throat. “Are you pregnant.”

  “Yes,” she said. Her words were barely above a whisper.

  “How?” He’d thought they’d been careful. “I mean I know how, but I don’t understand. We used protection.”

  “One time we didn’t.”

  He pulled back and stared at her. The only time he remembered them not using a condom was earlier that day. She had to be mistaken.

  “No. I remember that night. It’s played in my mind over and over.” He shook his head. “I used one every time.”

  “You’re memory is faulty then.” She smiled. “You were asleep I think. Dreaming maybe, I’m not sure. But you woke me up with a searing kiss. You were inside me before I was fully awake.”

  Cain stopped and considered what she’d said. It did seem vaguely familiar. It was almost dreamlike. He must have been dreaming of her and reached for what his body craved. It made sense.

  “We’re having a baby.” It was bizarre to picture himself as a father, but he was thrilled at the same time.

  She laughed. “Yes. We are.”

  This was everything he never thought he’d have. A woman to love and a family—a future he’d been denying himself. He wanted to wrap them up in cotton and protect them from the harshness of the world. He knew that wasn’t possible though.

  He dropped to his knees and kissed her stomach. “Hello little one. I’m your daddy.”

  Belle ran her fingers through his hair and said, “I love you.”

  Cain gazed up and her and smiled. “I love you too. Now will you please come with me?”

  He waited on baited breath for her answer. Please say yes. After several seconds passed she nodded her head. “All right. I will go with you. But…” She held up her hand. “Don’t think this means you’ll always get your way.”

  With a huge smile on his face he leapt to his feet. “As long as you understand we’re getting married as soon as this mess is over I can allow you to have your way on almost anything else.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I will consider your proposal and let you know when I’ve decided to accept.”

  Cain kissed her forehead and let her lead the way out of the lake house. They were going to have a wonderful life together. Thank God he’d had the good sense to fall in love with her. Some things were worth waiting for, and some people were best left as memories—Belle was meant to be his, and he never wanted to let her go. She was it for him—his first and only love. He’d not fall in love twice, especially as he considered himself blessed to find the right woman the first time.

  Epilogue

  Cain entered the hotel and smoothed the lines of his jacket. Sweat pooled on his forehead as he scanned the lobby. The people all bustled to and fro without a care in the world. How could they act like nothing was happening? He couldn’t stop the jittery nerves filling him. What if something went wrong?

  He shook his head and the anxiety away. It would all go as it was supposed to. He’d accept nothing less, and if she tried to bolt he’d go after her. This was no time for nerves especially at this stage in their relationship. He kept walking toward the end of the lobby and took a left at the hallway. At the end he entered a room that was decked out in an elegant silver bombazine with pearly lace accents.

  At the fr
ont of the room was Belle’s mother directing everyone in her immediate vicinity. Adria put a drill sergeant to shame. She’d divorced the senator as soon as the scandal hit and erased his name from hers with an efficiency Cain appreciated. Belle’s mother didn’t want anything do with her former husband. He sat in prison where he belonged. His trial had been a media circus that his family abstained from attending. They tuned in long enough to find out that the jury came back with a guilty verdict. Cain had attended every day so he could tell Belle the details. He didn’t want her anywhere near it so late in her pregnancy. She was due any day and they’d pushed this day farther than they’d intended, but she refused to marry him until her after her father’s trial.

  “Is everything ready?” Cain asked. He wanted to finish this so he could take the woman he loved home to rest. She was eight months pregnant. The day would tire her rather quickly. “Where’s the minister?”

  “Quit worrying.” Adria glared at him. “That’s my job. I’ve taken care of everything. The minister went to use the restroom. Is your best man here?”

  Hell, he hadn’t even stopped to check. He scanned the room and found Phil’s bright orange hair in the distance. Carly and Phil were to stand up for them. It seemed fitting since they’d had a front row seat to all of the drama at the beginning of their relationship. “Yeah he’s here. I assume Carly is with Belle?”

  Belle didn’t have a lot of close friends and claimed his as her own. Carly and Phil were thrilled to be included in the wedding. Carly more than any of them could’ve foreseen.

  “Yes she is,” her mother verified. “As soon as the minister returns we will be set to begin. I was beginning to wonder if you would show up.”

  As if he’d miss his own wedding. What kind of fool did she think he was? “Traffic was nasty. I got stuck behind a four car pile-up. If the first responders hadn’t shown up when they did I was about to hop out and help them. They had it well in hand though so I scooted on by as fast as I could. I couldn’t leave Belle hanging.”

  “Oh good the groom is here.” The minister approached them from behind. “Are we ready to begin?”

  “Yes,” Adria said. “I will go inform the bride, and you—” she pointed at Cain. “Stay here. I will also tell your best man to join you.”

  She headed toward Phil. Her heels dug into the carpet as she walked with purpose. When she reached his best man she spoke to him briefly and left the room. Phil glanced over at Cain and nodded. He made his way over to his side.

  “You ready to get hitched?” he asked when he reached Cain. “Carly is excited to be a bridesmaid. Apparently no one has ever asked her. She won’t stop talking about it.”

  Cain laughed. Carly was a beautiful woman, but most of her gender took a quick dislike to her. Belle, his sweet love, didn’t see her as a threat. She hugged her every time they came across each other. At first Carly had thought she was being punked, but Cain had to reassure her that was how Belle was. She accepted everyone faults and all. Otherwise, he would never have had a chance with her.

  “She’s becoming fast friends with Belle. I expect she will stop by so often I’ll get sick of seeing her.” He probably wouldn’t. Carly was one of the few people Cain trusted. Otherwise he wouldn’t have called her for aide. She’d always had his back. “Don’t be surprised if Belle decides you two need to be godparents too, when the little one arrives. I can almost see her mind spinning when she looks at you two.”

  “What?” Phil stared at him in horror. “Babies…no. I don’t do babies.”

  Piano music filled the room. They turned to see Carly heading down the aisle. She wore a dress of dark purple that accented her violet eyes. She stopped in front of them and nodded to Cain. Then she stood on the other side and waited for Belle. When she appeared Cain sucked in a deep breath. She was beautiful. He always thought so, but today she glowed. Her dress hit the floor in waves of silk and lace. It was the same color as the décor. She’d said that life was a mix of black and white, and a silver dress made more sense to her than white. She wasn’t as pure as Cain said she was. They all had a dual nature and that should represent the beginning of their life. He couldn’t fault her logic so he agreed.

  She walked down the aisle with her mother at her side. They’d managed to finally come to an understanding. Belle had been closer to her father, but she realized her mother was the one she could truly depend on. Adria could be stiff and stuck in her ways. At the end of the day though she was the one that could be trusted.

  “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

  “I give myself,” Belle said. “I don’t need permission.”

  Adria laughed. “No you don’t dear.” She kissed her cheek. “I wish you all the happiness in the world.”

  Belle joined him in front of the altar. He picked up her hand and held it in his. The joy spreading through him was so great he thought he’d burst from it. This was what he’d been praying for, and hadn’t realized it. She was his light.

  The minister spoke for a while. Cain couldn’t recall a word of it. His gaze stayed firmly in front of him, and on Belle’s beautiful face.

  “Are you ready to recite your vows?” The minister asked. “I understand you prepared your own.”

  “Yes,” Belle confirmed.

  “Then, please begin.”

  Cain lifted her hand and kissed her palm. “Belle when we met I knew you were the one for me. It scared me, and I made a lot of mistakes because of it. I’ve come to realize that what makes us work is our ability to communicate. I promise that I will always listen to you. I may not always understand it, and I’m bound to mess something up along the way. I’m grateful that your patience and perceptiveness will see us through.” He swallowed down a lump in his throat. “You are the light of my life. The one person I was always meant to love. I would give all I own for one moment in your arms, I would die willingly for a lifetime of your kisses, and I’d smile for eternity if given the opportunity to bask in the light of your love. I’m glad I didn’t fall in love before you. I promise from this day not to take our love and our family for granted. You can always count on me.”

  Tears were falling down her face. She wiped them away quickly. “How do I possibly follow that up?”

  He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “With all the trust and honesty you hold in your heart.”

  “Cain I was walking on a cloud of illusions before I met you. I thought I knew what I wanted and the direction my life was going in. I couldn’t have been more wrong. You opened my eyes up to the possibilities life had to offer. You’re my rock, my soul mate, and the only man I’ve ever loved.” She gazed into his eyes with so much love it stole his breath. “I couldn’t have chosen a better partner in life, if I’d tried. I’d stare for a lifetime into your eyes and it wouldn’t be enough. You’ve always been there for me. I couldn’t forget about you if I tried. Through all the sleepless nights and the endless days you’ve always been there. Even in the darkest recess of my mind I couldn’t stop you from haunting me. I live for your smile and I’d gladly follow you to the ends of the Earth and back. I promise to love you for all of my days, and do my best to give you as much happiness as you’ve given me.”

  Cain leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around and he deepened the kiss. He was so lost in the pleasure of her kiss he forgot where they were until he heard chuckles in the distance.

  “Ahem,” the minister said. “We haven’t gotten to that part yet.”

  “My apologies,” Cain replied with a bit of embarrassment. “I couldn’t resist.”

  The minister smiled. “You’re not the first to get lost in the moment. Now if you have the rings we can move forward.”

  Carly and Phil stepped up with a ring in their hand. The minister picked them up and placed them on a pillow and blessed them. He directed Cain to pick up Belle’s band. He slid it on her finger and repeated the words, and then Belle followed suit.

  “I now pronounce you husband and wif
e, and young man,” the minister winked, “now you may kiss the bride.”

  Cain didn’t need to be told twice. He leaned down and placed his lips on hers. She was his forever now.

  Belle pulled back and frowned. “I hate to stop something I enjoy as much as your kisses but—my water broke.”

  “What?” Cain raised an eyebrow. She had to be joking. “Now?”

  She nodded. Cain fell back on his training and scooped her up into his arms and carried her out of the church. He heard murmurs about it being romantic. The guests didn’t have a clue and he didn’t stop to enlighten them. His wife was in labor and they had to get to the hospital fast.

  Belle glanced over at her husband. She still couldn’t believe they’d finally married. Perhaps she’d pushed things to the limit waiting so long into her pregnancy, but she didn’t regret it. It wasn’t every day a person had a wedding the same day their child was born. It would be an extra special day for celebration each year.

  Cain was sitting in a rocking chair cooing at their bundle of joy. It had been a relatively easy labor. They hadn’t had to wait long to meet the new edition to their family.

  “How’s she doing?” Belle asked.

  “She’s doing brilliantly,” Cain replied. “Do you expect anything less from our daughter?”

  No she didn’t. “We have to name her.”

  He continued to stare down at her with a smile on his handsome face. She’d never seen a man so enamored with his child before. It was beautiful. How could she have ever doubted they’d end up exactly where they were.

  “What do you think about Eden Grace?” he asked. “I was looking up names a while back and it means perfect and well Grace is kind of self explanatory. She’s a wonderfully perfect part of both of us.”

  Belle smiled. How was she expected to resist him? She was thankful she hadn’t even tried. They wouldn’t be where they were if she had. They’d been set on a path that could have destroyed them, but they’d come out of it stronger and better.