A Discarded Pearl (A Marsden Romance Book 5) Read online

  Chapter Five

  Warmth flowed over Pearla, and she snuggled closer into the epicenter of it. She’d never been able to get this warm in her bed before. It was so cozy and solid—wait… Her eyes flew open and met Damian’s silver ones. Light danced against them making them sparkle.

  She jerked out of his arms and wiped the drool off of her chin. How embarrassing. Damian didn’t appear to be ruffled in the slightest. Her eyes narrowed as she studied him in the low light and frowned. How could he look even better than before? For that alone, she could learn to hate him. No one should look that good considering all they’d been through. Damian was too damned sexy.

  “Good morning, cara…or rather, I think it is morning. The sky is still rather dark and brooding.”

  The storm had raged forever. Pearla didn’t know how many days it went on. The ship rocked and rolled through the furious waves and torrential rain. For a while, though she’d never openly admit it, it seemed as if they were headed toward certain death.

  “How long have I been asleep?” Sleep had been nearly impossible, so she was surprised she slept at all. “My body is one big ache.” Pearla stretched her arms high above her head and relief filled her sore muscles.

  The whole time the ship rocked, she’d been fighting the urge to lose the contents of her stomach. How Damian managed to not get even slightly queasy she’d never understand. On the way home, and she would return to London at some point, she’d book passage on a steamship. These stupid clipper ships were not pleasant to sail on. She’d only booked passage on one because she wanted out of England as quick as possible.

  “A few hours at most.” Damian stared at her. “You didn’t miss anything important. You needed the rest.”

  His gaze never left her. A tingly sensation filled her belly and a different kind of ache throbbed between her legs. Why him? What did he want from her? She didn’t care if they were technically married. They couldn’t have a real marriage. Maybe she’d been hasty in saying she’d never allow him to touch her. Why not? She didn’t plan on marrying anyone else, and she was his wife. It was something to think about anyway.

  She shook her head to clear away her train of thought. Damian would want more than she was willing to give. If she went that route. Ground rules and expectations would have to be laid out and fully understood. She wouldn’t have him claiming her and thinking he could dictate to her. After the debacle of her failed wedding, she didn’t want to take chances on marriage ever again.

  “Did you sleep at all?”

  Their clothing had mostly dried hours ago. Pearla didn’t feel comfortable in just her camisole and pantaloons. She’d dressed as soon as she believed her dress wasn’t damp. Damian had followed her lead and donned his own clothes. She’d breathed a sigh of relief when he had. His naked chest was too tempting.

  He turned his head and stared out the porthole. “No.”

  She frowned. “You should rest. We both need our strength to get through this.”

  “Are you worried about me, cara?”

  Damn him and his insistence on calling her his darling. Why wouldn’t he stop? This was beginning to become a bit ridiculous. How many times would she have to ask him to cease before he honored her wishes?

  “Of course not.” She huffed and turned her nose up. “Why would I concern myself with your welfare?” She rolled her eyes. Hardheaded males didn’t deserve to be worried about, but she was lying. It did concern her that he hadn’t rested. They had an escape to plan.

  “You want to know what I think?”

  “No.” Yes.

  “You want to come back here and lay your head on my shoulder.” He leaned toward her. “Give in, cara. You don’t need to be afraid of finding comfort in my arms. It’s my pleasure to ease all of your worries.”

  “I’d rather not.” The idea did tempt her, but she was made of stronger stuff. She could resist Damian. She hoped. She pictured Noah for a moment. Not too long ago she’d been willing to marry him and all it entailed. Now she was Damian’s wife. They were so different. The circumstances and the men, Noah had been the man of her dreams. Only it had turned into a nightmare of her own making. She had to be careful she didn’t make the same mistake twice. Damian could shatter what was left of her bruised heart. He filled it in ways Noah never had.

  He grinned. The tilt of his lips was a lure filled with decadent wickedness. Pearla sucked in a breath and held it. Damn him for being so handsome and sinful. She was a weak woman to want to throw herself in his arms and beg for mercy. Breathe—she reminded herself, and a whoosh of air left her lungs.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Drat it. “Doesn’t matter if you do.”

  He grabbed her wrist and pulled her back into his arms. “I can prove you wrong.”

  Damian caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. It sent tiny sensations down her face and spread throughout her whole body. Maybe he was right. She should find out what this making love stuff was all about. He did make her feel things she never felt in her entire life. That had to be a good thing right?

  “Please don’t.” Oh, yes, please do.

  Why was she a jumbled mess of contradictions? Make up your mind, you silly girl. These wanton feelings were filling her belly for a reason. Damian’s eyes held such promises. She wanted to know what they were, but the proper Pearla put her foot down and prevented it from happening.

  He sighed. “I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

  “Will you make love to me?” The words were out of her mouth before she knew what she was saying. Damn it. Had she asked him to… No. That wasn’t her voice filling the room. Pearla was imagining things.

  His gaze found hers. Damian remained quiet for a long time. At least it seemed like forever. Hell, had she read him wrong? What man would take this long when offered the opportunity love a woman proper?

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Pearla stammered through the words and scooted to the edge of the cot. She turned away from him. This was so…humiliating. The idea of finding pity reflecting from his gaze was too much to bear.

  “Cara…” He reached for her, but she pulled away.

  The more distance the better. Pearla knew when she wasn’t wanted. She wouldn’t beg a man to love her. Self respect was a good thing, and she would keep hers, damn it.

  “Forget I asked and leave me alone. It was a moment of insanity.” Truly it had been. What was she thinking?

  “Hell, if it was.” He spun her around their gazes locking together. His voice was hoarse and thick with an emotion she couldn’t identify. “I wanted to make sure you knew what you were asking from me.”

  “I knew. I changed my mind. Too late. I don’t want you anymore.” Lies. She might always want this man, but she needed to be stronger than her base urges.

  He studied her again. It was disconcerting. What was he hoping to find in the depths of her eyes? Would he know her deepest desires by staring into them long enough? He appeared to find something he liked because a smile grew on his face.

  “All right, cara. Let me know when you change it back.” He kissed her lips lightly and let her go. “I can wait.”

  Arrogant bastard.

  Sunlight streamed through the widow almost blinding her. When had the sun decided to come out and play? The waves were no longer crashing against the ship’s hull. She’d been so wrapped up in Damian she hadn’t noticed.

  “The storm has finally passed,” she muttered.

  “Three days were too damn long to be at sea in that mess. Thankfully, it is over.”

  Had it been three days? It seemed like much longer. The crew had given them limited provisions when it first hit and left them alone for the duration. They had other concerns—like keeping the ship afloat. That they thought of them at all was a blessing.

  “How long do you think until we reach port?”

  Damian shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s hard to say where Paolo wants us taken.”

&nb
sp; Pearla crawled next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. Whatever comfort he offered, she needed it. Their future looked so bleak. As far as she could see from their porthole, the ocean surrounded them. Escaping seemed impossible. How were they supposed to build a life together when they didn’t have their freedom? Damian wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close to him, his head tilted against her head.

  The door to their cabin flung wide open and slammed alongside the wall with a deafening thud. “Don’t you two look rather cozy.” The bosun came into the cabin followed by his partners in crime. “The conte is needed on deck.”

  Damian lifted his head but didn’t move off of the cot. “I will have to decline. Tell Captain Blythe to go to hell.”

  “Is that any way to treat your benefactor?”

  He snorted. “Benefactor? Have you been dipping into the rum casks? I think your brain is pickled if you believe that.”

  The bosun picked his teeth with his fingernails and spit on the floor. Pearla cringed. How charming. Why wouldn’t they leave her and Damian alone?

  “Damian would rather stay here with me. Run along now. We don’t have time for your nonsense.” Pearl shooed him with her hand.

  “You don’t give the orders, missy. Perhaps you need a lesson in respect.”

  Pearla raised an eyebrow. Did this ruffian think to school her on something as ingrained as respect? He didn’t respect anyone, and he wouldn’t be teaching her a lesson regarding it. “No, thank you.”

  He spread his legs apart, evenly balanced and crossed his arms over his chest. “Conte, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Please choose the hard way. I owe you for knocking me out the other day.”

  Damian sighed. “What does the captain want now?”

  The bosun laughed. “You’ve had your fun with your wife. Just as you wanted. It’s time to go. We’ve reached port.”

  His eyebrows scrunched up. He appeared confused by the bosun’s words. Pearla didn’t know what to make of it. What fun? They had been dealing with the storm’s raging winds and waves on the boat the same as the crew. They didn’t get any enjoyment out of it. Did he mean… Pearla started laughing uncontrollable. The wretches believed her and Damian had been rolling around and getting to know each other intimately this whole time. How laughable. The bosun implied Damian had asked for it too.

  “I fail to understand your logic.” Damian frowned. “Oh, stop laughing, Pearla. It isn’t that funny.”

  “But he thinks…” Laughter spilled even harder out of her. “I’m so sorry.” She wiped tears out of the corner of her eyes. “It’s ridiculous really.”

  The euphoria of her laugher was shattered with the bosun’s words. “Grab the conte. Captain didn’t think he’d leave the lady willingly.”

  The two ruffians pushed her aside and grabbed Damian yanking him toward the exit. He fought against their efforts every step of the way. One of them lifted his arms and let his fist fly into Damian’s face. It stunned Damian, temporarily giving them the momentum to get him out of the door.

  “Enjoy your accommodations, Miss Montgomery. You haven’t reached your destination yet, but Conte has met his final one.”

  They meant to kill Damian. She couldn’t allow it to happen.

  “Where are you taking him?” Pearla jumped off the cot and stormed over to the bosun.

  “Don’t worry your pretty head about it. Conte Leone is getting exactly what he wanted.” He leered down at her breasts. “Maybe you will consider my offer now that you know what a man feels like sliding between your thighs.”

  Pearla slapped him. An angry red handprint spread across his cheek. “You will pay for that.”

  “Not today, Perry. Leave Miss Montgomery be.” The Captain stepped inside the cabin. “You know what will happen if the duca finds out you harmed her.”

  The bosun’s face paled. Whoever the duca was—Paolo, Damian had called him—scared these men. She gulped. What did he have planned of her?

  “Yes, Captain. I understand.”

  “Good. Go back up deck and help them with the conte’s departure.”

  Perry rushed out of the room, leaving her alone with Captain Blythe.

  “What are you doing with Damian?”

  Please, don’t let him be hurt. He’d come to mean something to her in a short time. They hadn’t gotten to know each other under the best of circumstances. She’d hate it if he met a bad end.

  He smirked. “You’re not worried about yourself? How touching. Things must have progressed rather well between you and the conte.”

  “What happened between us is not your concern.”

  The captain could go to the devil for all she cared. He meant nothing to her. Damian did. She still didn’t understand her feelings fully. One day she’d like to explore them.

  “Isn’t it though? I did marry you after all. I’d like to think I did one good deed.” His smile was pure evil.

  Good deed? He didn’t do anything out of the pureness of his heart.

  “What do you want?” Pearla asked.

  “Nothing at all, my dear. I thought you might want to know that your little escapade was not fully orchestrated by the duca. The conte…Damian as you are calling him, played his part rather well.”

  Confusion filled her. What was he talking about? What had Damian done?

  “I don’t understand.” None of it made sense.

  An even wider grin spread across his face. The captain leaned against the cabin wall and leered down at her. “Then let me enlighten you. Conte Leone paid my crew to beat him up and hold him in here with you. He thought it was a bit of sport to play the hostage.”

  Damian wasn’t the evil one. He wouldn’t hurt anyone. It wasn’t in his nature. She paused her line of thinking and gazed at Captain Blythe. How well did she know any of these men? She’d never met any of them before she’d embarked on her excursion. Running away from her problems had led her down this path. It was time she faced things head on and got some clear answers.

  “You’re lying.” He had to be. Damian wouldn’t do that to her. Would he? He had made it a point to tell her he wasn’t perfect, and had used a woman previously. Was that his way of warning her?

  “No? How about if I tell you that your marriage isn’t real?” Pure enjoyment sparkled out of his eyes.

  Rage boiled up inside of her. She clenched her fists against her side. The more he spoke the more she wanted to hit him. The entire farce of a marriage was fake? To what end? “Then why bother with it?”

  The captain spoke nothing but nonsense. It was all…wrong.

  “So he could have you willingly in his bed. If you were his wife, then why not give yourself to him. He knew it was the only way you’d let him touch you. You are, or rather were, a virginal lady, were you not.”

  That showed what he knew or thought he did anyway. Damian didn’t take her virginity. He had been the perfect gentleman, considering. This was all one huge lie, but she didn’t know how much of it was. Maybe Damian had planned it all and then changed his mind. Still they weren’t married, so she didn’t have to worry about dissolving it. If she could get away from Captain Blythe and his crew, she could continue on her sabbatical. She would still need the time to think and figure it all out.

  “Again, not your business.” Pearla seethed. “This is all rather convenient when Damian isn’t here to back up your story.”

  “He’s done with you. Do I need to remind you of the wedding ceremony?”

  What was he spouting now?

  “I’m not following what you’re saying.”

  “Don’t you recall?” He grinned. “I hinted toward his intentions before I asked if you agreed to be his wife.”

  Wait… He’d mentioned something about helping a friend. That he’d only done what Damian asked of him. Was what he said true? Did Damian intend to use her? Pearla’s heart shattered as she recalled their exchange. She’d been so confused, and Damian had appeared equally so. Was he that good of an actor? Could she really tr
ust what she believed him to be?

  The captain shrugged. “I’ve done my duty and told you everything. Now you are free to roam around the ship once we set sail. When we dock again, you are free to leave. We will help you with your trunks at that time.”

  He turned to leave.

  “Wait” Pearla grabbed his arm, attempting to stop him from leaving.

  “Yes?” he asked.

  “Where are we going?” Why are they doing this?

  “You will find out when we get there.”

  Awful man, why couldn’t she know now? It didn’t matter. She’d find out when they arrived and deal with it when she had no other choice.

  “And Damian?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “Is no longer your concern. You’re a free woman, Miss Montgomery. Don’t squander it.”

  Pearla wasn’t sure what to make of it all, but Captain Blythe was right. Damian wasn’t her concern. They weren’t married. He’d left her. Maybe not of his own free will, but he was gone just the same. She couldn’t think about what happened to him because she couldn’t do anything to help him. Perhaps the captain was telling some of the truth too.

  Maybe Damian hadn’t really wanted her after all.

  And that was what she couldn’t let go of. No one truly loved her. Pearla was easily discarded as if without value—forgettable. Why should Damian be any different? It was time to focus on something she could do. Pearla was so tired of being left behind. Why did everyone think it was all right to abandon her, break her heart, and toss her aside? She was done being a victim. From that moment on, she’d do everything necessary to protect herself from pain. Agony engulfed her heart for the last time. No man would ever hold the power to destroy her again.

  Pearla needed to know what she wanted out of life. Without a man or love.

  Chapter Six

  Eighteen months later

  The hot sun poured over his sweat soaked skin. Damian wiped his forehead with his sleeve. Today was the day. He would escape the island of hell Captain Blythe had sentenced him to. Then he would find Pearla.