Heart of the Moment Read online

  “As if one of the men I’ve dated would look twice at you.” Lana grinned and looped her arm through Jessica’s. “This is going to be fun, promise.” She led Jessica to her car and opened the passenger door. Blindly, Jessica sat in the seat as Lana closed the door. It wasn’t until the car started moving that she realized what she’d allowed to happen.

  Had hell frozen over? Surely it must have because last time she checked Lana Kelly hated her. Why was she insisting she have dinner with her? Jessica was very much afraid she’d have that answer before the evening was done.

  PRESTON LEFT THE HOSPITAL and headed to his car. He decided to drive over to Jessica’s house and check on her. Yes, Lana said she would talk to her, but he didn’t know if she would be successful or not. He wanted to make sure she was all right and was taken care of. Concern for her ate away at him, and he couldn’t shake the need to see her.

  He started his car, drove out of the parking lot, and headed in the direction of her home. It wasn’t a long drive. Ren and Jessica had picked the house partly because of its location. When a doctor was on call, it was better if they lived in close proximity to hospital. He eased his car to the side of the road and put it into park. Her house was dark and there didn’t seem to be anyone home. Her car wasn’t in the driveway, but that didn’t mean anything. It could be in the garage or maybe she just wasn’t there. He was about to get out of the car and find out when headlights flashed down the road. A car pulled into the driveway. The engine turned off and a woman stepped out. In the dark, Preston could barely make out her features, but the moonlight highlighted her pale blonde hair. Jessica had returned.

  He opened his car door and stepped out, heading in her direction. He called out to her, “Jess...”

  She stopped at her front door and turned in his direction. She was still wearing the awful clothes he’d seen her in earlier in the day. He stepped closer to her and noticed the dark shadows continued to haunt her eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “I had to make sure you were all right,” he replied. “You don’t look well.”

  “Thanks,” she said dryly. “I’m so glad you find me so appealing.”

  He flinched. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. Don’t put words into my mouth”

  Why did she have to make everything so damn difficult? Because she wouldn’t be Jessica if she didn’t—he couldn’t really blame her for being who she was. Even if it irritated him.

  “Is that all you wanted?” She lifted a brow. “I’m tired and I don’t want to stand out here all night chatting.”

  She thought she could dismiss him and he’d slink away like a dog with its tail between its legs? Well, she was wrong. He would not leave without having a little reassurance she was all right. If he couldn’t have that small thing he’d not be able to rest.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  “No,” she shot back. “What part of I’m tired did you misunderstand?”

  He didn’t have any trouble comprehending it. In fact, he didn’t even need her to voice it. Clearly, she was exhausted and it fell off of her in waves. Her whole body was a walking, talking advertisement for someone in need of sleep. That didn’t mean he was ready to let go and let her win. She could handle another thirty minutes—maybe less than that depending on how forthcoming she was—to have a conversation with him.

  “Come on,” he said. “I’ll make you herbal tea. It’ll help you sleep.”

  Preston took her keys from her and unlocked the door. She grumbled incoherently but let him have his way. He flipped the light on in the hallway and headed toward her kitchen then fumbled through one of her cupboards for some chamomile tea.

  “How was your appointment with Dr. Adams?”

  She’d given him some lame excuses earlier, and he knew she went to see Dr. Adams, but there was more going on. He’d never seen her looking so tired in his life. Jessica prided herself on her appearance. There had to be a reason for her to not bother with it. Add on the exhaustion, and it was a recipe that rang warning bells.

  “It’s my normal appointment,” she said with a shrug. “I talked. She listened. It’s what happens when one goes to see a psychiatrist.”

  Preston turned his back to her so she didn’t see him roll his eyes. He filled the kettle with water and put it on the stove to boil. After a few minutes, it whistled, and then he picked it up to pour water into a mug. A bag of tea in one hand and the mug in the other, he set them on the table beside Jessica. She picked up the bag and steeped it in the water aimlessly.

  “I don’t know why I’m doing this,” she said. “I don’t really want the tea.”

  “Because it’s giving you something to do,” he replied. “You’re not going to tell me what’s really going on, are you?”

  Jessica shook her head. “I can’t,” she whispered. “Maybe in time...”

  He placed his hand over hers. “You know you can trust me. Tell me what’s going on.”

  She sighed. “Not now, Pres. Don’t push me.”

  Everything inside of him told him to do just that. She wanted space though, and he should give it to her. What kind of man was he if he couldn’t respect her wishes. He loved her, and he had to at least try to do what she wanted. Even if it slowly killed him inside.

  “When you’re ready to talk, you know where to find me,” he finally said. “I can’t promise I’ll be patient for long.” Or maybe not ever. It wasn’t exactly one of his strong suits. “But I will try.”

  Jessica smiled. “You’re too good to me. Don’t wait for me to come to you.” She lifted her hand to stop him from talking. “Arguing with me will get you nowhere. This is something I have to work through on my own. I don’t need you to fix me.”

  Preston wasn’t as good as she thought he was. He could be selfish too, and while she wasn’t ready to talk, he’d try to figure it out anyway. Lana might still come through for him. She may have said she wasn’t actually going to spy on Jessica; however, that didn’t mean she wouldn’t spill a secret or two unwittingly. He wasn’t going to let it go as easily as Jessica wanted him to.

  “Drink your tea and then sleep,” Preston said as he stood. “We will talk again when you’re feeling better.”

  “You might be waiting a long time for that,” she said flippantly. “Go home. I’ll rest easier once you leave.”

  Preston frowned. Since when did his presence make her uneasy? “Fine,” he said leaning down to kiss her forehead. “Remember, I’m here if you need me.”

  He left her alone in the kitchen and headed to his car. When he decided to visit her, he had hoped for more insight. All he’d actually gotten was more questions. It appeared as if he wasn’t going to sleep well that night. The first chance he found, he’d ask Lana about Jessica. It never hurt to ask, but he might not like the answers she gave him. It was a risk he was willing to take.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Jessica still couldn’t believe she’d had dinner with Lana, and it hadn’t been...bad. Her mother was a wonderful person and had taken her in without any questions. The food had probably been good, but Jessica hadn’t tasted it. Her appetite was almost nonexistent since she’d been diagnosed. The doctor had warned her that her health would continue to decline if she didn’t get treatment, but he hadn’t mentioned she’d have a lack of interest in food.

  Of course the night hadn’t ended as well as she would have liked. That had nothing to do with Lana or her mother. Preston’s sudden appearance had added to that disastrous end. If she’d had even the slightest inkling he’d be laying in wait she’d have avoided coming home a little longer. Unfortunately, she couldn’t go back and change any of it. They’d had there usually discussion and he’d gone away mad.

  Her appointment with the oncologist was scheduled, and she’d find out what her options were. She hoped it wasn’t as bad as her gynecologist believed it was. Maybe it would be easy enough to remove the tumor and she’d be able to move on as if nothing happened. Somehow,
she didn’t think it would be quite that easy. While she waited, she downplayed the seriousness of her situation so she could remain hopeful. If it turned out to be much worse than she thought, well, she’d deal with it when the time came.

  Knocking on her front door brought her out of her thoughts and to the present. Who the hell could that be? For a brief moment, she flashed back to the day she’d seduced Preston. That had been one of her more disastrous moments... Surely he wouldn’t be at the door now. Hadn’t his previous interrogation been enough? She might want to see him deep down, but it was a very bad idea. It wouldn’t end well. If there last encounter was anything to go by she already knew what the outcome would be. Her heart beat hard in her chest at the idea. As much as she realized it was a very bad idea to see him, it didn’t mean she’d stopped wanting to. She loved him and hadn’t stopped.

  As to who was at the door... It was unlikely it was Preston, but there was only one way to find out. Surely he wouldn’t go so far as to harass her a second time in so many hours. She moved toward the door, turned the knob, and then swung it open wide.

  “Hey, hot stuff,” Lana said as she brushed past her and walked inside. “I came to see what plans you had for the day.”

  “Um...” Definitely not Preston. Jessica sighed. “Why are you being so nice to me?” It didn’t make a lick of sense. Lana hated her... Her sudden interest in her wellbeing was rather out of character for her. “Don’t you have someone else you can bother?”

  “Plenty actually,” she replied and plopped down on the couch. “But none nearly as fun as you.”

  Jessica rolled her eyes. “Thanks. That’s such a glowing accolade into my character. I don’t know how I ever lived without you in my life every day.”

  “Good thing I saved you from such a travesty.” She nodded. “You’re welcome.”

  It was time to figure out what game Lana was playing. She didn’t have the desire to entertain her. Dinner the other night had been nice, but she didn’t trust Lana’s motivations. She wasn’t the type of person who did something without a good reason, and Jessica wasn’t at the top of her list of people worth her time.

  “It was nice of you to stop by, but I have plans.”

  “Oh,” she said leaning forward. “What? I have time to kill before I have to go to Matt’s to check up on him. He’s a veritable bear these days. I hope he gets his sight back soon.”

  Jessica felt bad for the man but he wasn’t her problem. His car accident had left him blind, and the adjustment period appeared to be not going well. A part of Jessica resented him and his problems. If he hadn’t crashed his car and nearly killed himself, perhaps Dani would never have come back into Ren’s life. Jessica could really use his support. No, that was how the old her thought—Ren deserved to be happy. Maybe she should attempt a friendship with Lana... She did need someone to lean on, and the woman kept popping up when she least expected it.

  “I’m going to adopt a dog,” she blurted out. “Do you want to come with me to pick one out?”

  She hadn’t actually intended to adopt a dog yet. The doctor had suggested it, and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Reality had set in when she got home and she’d talked herself out of the idea. Now it was starting to appeal to her again. If she was spontaneous and just did it though...

  “You?” Lana laughed. “A dog?”

  “What’s so funny about that?” Jessica brought her hands to her hips and glared at her. “I think I’d be good with one.” She hoped so at least.

  “You’re serious?” She lifted a brow.

  “Yes.” Jessica lifted her chin defiantly. “Are you coming with me or not?”

  Lana shrugged. “I’ll drive. By the looks of you, we might die before we get there. How much sleep are you getting?” She narrowed her eyes and studied her. “You really do look like shit. Have you seen a doctor?”

  “My, oh my,” Jessica said and brought her hand to her chest. “You do say the sweetest things to me. You really must stop complimenting me so. What will the neighbors think?”

  “You’re perverse,” Lana said and winked. “I like it.”

  Jessica was beginning to think Lana was good for her. She brought out a side of her she’d buried a long time ago. For so long she’d had one goal—keeping Ren. When she failed at making him happy she’d moved on to Preston. Perhaps she needed to learn to love herself before she could truly love another person. She proclaimed to love Preston, but did she really know what love was? She’d done everything wrong in the name of that elusive emotion. All it had brought her was emptiness and no one to lean on.

  “Shut up,” she said as they exited the house. “If you’re driving, I can take a cat nap while on the way.”

  “I thought you realized cats and dogs don’t mix,” she retorted, implying Jessica was more catlike. “You sure you want a dog?”

  “You’re not talking me out of it.” She headed to the door. “Are you coming?”

  “Fine,” Lana replied. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  Jessica walked over to Lana’s car and got into the passenger side. Lana drove them to the local animal shelter. When she said she’d nap she’d been joking. The shelter wasn’t far enough away for even a five-minute nap. After the car was parked near the front entrance Lana turned toward her and asked, “Where did you get this harebrained idea anyway?”

  Jessica shrugged. “I’m tired of being alone. A dog is more reliable than a human.”

  Lana shook her head and got out of the car. Jessica took a deep breath and followed suit. It was time to find a dog and take him or her home. She should have done some research before leaping into such a commitment. Why hadn’t she thought this through? Oh yeah, because she’d have chickened out if she had.

  They walked into the shelter and was immediately greeted by one of the workers. “Can I help you?” she asked.

  Jessica didn’t say a word. Suddenly it was terrifying, and she found it hard to breathe. She wasn’t sure if she could do this...

  “Blondie here wants a dog,” Lana said. “Do you have anything cute and cuddly? The smaller the better. I don’t think she’s the boxer type.”

  The woman stared at Jessica for several moments. How the hell did Lana expect her to respond to that ridiculous statement? As if she’d judge a dog... Who the hell was she kidding? Of course she would. It was what she did more often than not. Why would Lana believe she’d changed and had a better outlook?

  “Can you show us the dogs? Jessica asked. “I do want to adopt one, but I’m not sure what kind will be a good fit for me.”

  The worker nodded. “Follow me.”

  She led her down a long hallway and into a room filled with kennels. There were several dogs of all shapes and sizes. The barking echoed through the entire place and was almost deafening. She could never work in a place like this one. It would drive her mad, but one dog surely wouldn’t be as loud... Jessica walked along the rows and stopped in front of one. Inside was the cutest thing she’d ever laid her eyes on. It was mostly white with brown ears and another light brown spot on its back. The dog was a tiny fluff ball of cuteness. Jessica wanted to pick it up and hug it. “What kind of dog is that?” It shook its head, pushing the hair out of its eyes and barked happily at her. Show off...

  “Bella here is a Maltese and Shih Tzu mix,” the worker said. “She’s a happy one. Always glad to play and cuddle.”

  “Told you she would go for a small dog,” Lana said. “Geez, did you have to literally go for the tiniest one in the place. That one can’t be more than five pounds.”

  “She’s still a pup,” the worker said. “But she won’t get much bigger. We think she was the runt of the litter. Someone dropped her off a couple weeks ago because they couldn’t keep her anymore.”

  The poor thing... Jessica would love her enough to make up for being abandoned and, damn it, she would not die and leave her alone again. “I’ll take her.”

  “Are you sure? You haven’t seen all the dogs.”


  “The woman does have a point,” Lana said. “You could at least glance at them all.”

  She shook her head. “I know what I want, and Bella is the dog for me. Whatever paperwork I need to fill out or payment I’m going to do it. She’s coming home with me today.”

  The worker sighed and said, “Follow me.”

  She led them to the front counter and then pulled out a folder. Jessica took the paperwork from her and sat down. There was a lot of forms to fill out to adopt an animal. How had she not realized there would be so much involved? Oh yeah, because she’d failed to do the proper research. It was fine though. This was a good choice, and Bella would have a home to go to. That dog sure was a cute little bugger.

  “You’re really going to do this?” Lana asked.

  “Did you think I was lying?” Jessica raised a brow. “I don’t do that kind of thing anymore.”

  “I don’t suppose you do. It hasn’t worked out well for you.”

  A truer statement had never been uttered. Lies always came back to bite her, and she’d decided to stop uttering them after Dani had showed up again. If she’d stopped sooner she might have had a chance at a happier life. Now she was adopting a dog and determined to remain single. Her life was too messy for anything else.

  “Can you tell me something?”

  “Depends on what it is,” Lana said. “I’m not as open-book as some might think.”

  “Is anyone really?” She grinned. “That’s not my question.”

  Lana laughed. “What do you want to know?”

  “Some might ask you what your deal is with Sullivan, but that’s not what I want to know. If you wanted people to have any kind of insight there we’d all already have the answers to that. So you can relax. That’s your business.” She filled in information on the paperwork and didn’t look at Lana directly. What she had to say was hard for her. She’d never really opened up to another woman. Jessica didn’t have female friends. She’d always seen them as adversaries. “Why are you really here? Don’t lie to me. We’re not friends—hell, we’re barely acquaintances. I don’t understand what you’re up to.”