Kiss My Heart Goodbye (Heart's Intent Book 4) Read online

  “How long have I been out?”

  “Too long,” Sullivan muttered under his breath.

  Preston glared at him again. Had Sullivan been there longer than she’d thought? She’d ask more questions after she rested. Astonishingly enough, she was still tired, and she’d been sleeping for days. Being injured sucked.

  “Sullivan is right,” Preston said in a cheerful tone. He was probably trying to cajole her or make her not worry. A heart injury was serious, and if her blood pressure rose, it might complicate things. “You’ve been unconscious for a week. I expect you’ll be here another week before I’m comfortable releasing you.”

  Lana groaned. “I hate being a patient.”

  “Nobody likes being in the hospital,” Preston said and laughed lightly. “Don’t worry. We’ll make it as easy as possible on you. I’ll leave so you can rest.” Then he looked at Sullivan and said firmly, “Ten minutes and then you have to depart as well.”

  Strangely, Sullivan nodded in concurrence without argument. Lana shouldn’t be surprised at his agreement. Lana and Sullivan didn’t have an easy relationship, and he was probably itching to bolt from the room. Preston and the nurse exited, leaving her alone with Sullivan.

  “I don’t need you to stay the full ten minutes,” Lana said. “I am rather tired. Can you tell my mother I’d like to see her in the morning?”

  “I will,” he agreed. “And I won’t remain long. I wanted to make sure you were all right before I followed the doctor out.”

  Why was he so concerned? He never acted like he cared much before. He’d been more of a nuisance in her life. Almost brotherly. She suppressed a groan and mentally rolled her eyes at that long ago memory. She was not his freaking sister, and maybe one day she’d tell him that. “I’m fine,” she told him. “Or I will be in time. Nothing a little rest won’t cure.”

  “Don’t joke about it,” he said curtly. “You almost died. I—” He cut off what he was about to say. She wanted to ask him to continue but refrained from pushing the issue. Mostly because she was too tired to argue with him, and partly because of the pained look on his face. Something about that made her uncomfortable and made her think it might be best not to have that much insight to the inner workings of Sullivan’s mind.

  Lana sighed. “I don’t understand what is going on with you, and right now I’m too exhausted to try to decipher your mood. If you don’t mind, I’m going to rest, and when you work through whatever is going on in that head of yours, please do me a favor and leave me out of it.”

  She closed her eyes expecting him to leave; after all, she had essentially dismissed him. Lana should have realized it wouldn’t be simple. Sullivan never did things the easy way. She opened her eyes to meet his gaze and sucked in a breath. The way he was staring at her—it was almost as if no one else existed in that moment but the two of them.

  “Lisanna,” he said. She started to tell him not to call her that, but he shushed her by placing a finger over her mouth. “Don’t argue.” He caressed her hair almost lovingly. “Take care of yourself. I’ll be back in the morning with your mother.”

  Then he did something he’d never done before. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers briefly. The shock sent a jolt through her that left her speechless. After he was gone, she lifted her hand to touch her lips with her fingertips. What alternate reality had she woken up to?

  CHAPTER TWO

  The plain white walls of her hospital room drove Lana to the brink of insanity. Dull, boring, and lacking excitement—would it kill them to add some design to the place? Worse, she’d been staring at them for several days, and she was ready to cause a riot to break free of the room’s confines. She’d been moved to the regular room from the ICU two days ago, and now wanted to bolt out of the hospital at the first opportunity. Logically, she understood why she was still there, but emotionally she was ready to go home. When Preston came to see her on his rounds, she’d do her best to convince him to let her leave.

  “You’re looking better,” a male said, bringing her out of her thoughts of escape.

  She glanced up to meet Sullivan’s gaze. He’d come to see her every day since she woke up. Lana still didn’t understand why he was so attentive. Her mother insisted he’d been there every day since her accident and no one had made him come by.

  Something was different about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. He’d always had this edge of sadness to him; however, now he seemed to have let it out for the world to see. The playboy of Envill, and CEO of Brady Blue, didn’t let outsiders see his innermost feelings. Perhaps he still didn’t, and this was all for her. Lana didn’t want to accept the last part though. If he was showing her a different side of him, she might have to let go of some of her own demons. She wasn’t ready to set those aside, or her bravado. Some things were hard to let go of, even when it was time to take a different path. She’d been working on autopilot for too long to change easily.

  She rolled her eyes. “Define better.”

  Sullivan moved closer before responding, “Alive, breathing, and awake for a start.” He stopped beside her bed and placed a hand on her arm. “I realize it’s difficult being incapacitated for a time, but try to remember you almost died. To me, you’ve never looked more beautiful than in this moment because I realize it could have been far worse.”

  She sucked in a breath and held it as shock rocketed her. The more he spoke, the more it put her on edge. Those words... They sent shivers all over her body and made her want to ask questions she wasn’t ready to hear the answers to. Sullivan wasn’t prone to professing poetic nonsense on a daily basis. She looked like shit and owned that fact. He was right in one regard: she was lucky to be alive, and appreciated it. She’d not take anything lightly ever again. That didn’t mean she wasn’t more than ready to bounce the hell out of the hospital and veg in her own bed for a week or twenty.

  “What are you doing here, Sully?” She was tired of ignoring what really bothered her. His sudden desire to spend more time with her was odd. “We’ve done our absolute best to put some distance between us whenever we’re in each other’s proximity. What changed?”

  He lifted a brow and flashed his most alluring smile. She wished she could say it didn’t affect her, but that would be a lie. It had always made her heart skip a beat or two. Sullivan Brady and his charm were far too potent for any mortal female—hell, he’d probably undo a goddess. “I’d think that’s rather obvious,” he told her.

  “Clearly it isn’t, or I wouldn’t be asking.” She sighed. “I’m rather irritated, and don’t have the patience for your bullshit. Just tell me what this new game is so I can make the necessary adjustments.” Instead of answering, he pulled up a chair and sat down. He brought his hands together and tapped his fingers almost contemplatively. Was he actually trying to make her lose her temper? “You do realize stress of any kind is bad for my damaged and healing heart, right? If you’re trying to set me back, you’re doing a brilliant job.”

  He frowned. “That’s never been my intention, and I apologize if I’m the cause for any tension between us.” He paused a moment and then leaned closer, putting his elbows on the edge of her bed. “I’d like for us to start over. I’m uncertain where we went wrong, and I regret whatever part I played in the animosity we share.”

  She scrunched her eyebrows together. Her original assessment was correct. This was some alternate universe; either that, or she died and this was some form of hell. That would make sense if she used her comparison of Sullivan to Lucifer. Maybe he was the fallen angel brought to life to torture her. “Fine,” she said exasperated. “I’ll try to refrain from being a bitch to you. I’m not making any other promises.”

  “I’ll accept that, for now,” he agreed. “I’d like to ask a favor of you.”

  Of course he would. Sullivan never did anything without a full agenda in place. She shouldn’t be surprised by this sudden turnabout, but, sadly, she was. “What do you want?” she asked scornfully. “I’d like t
o be rid of you as soon as possible so I can rest.”

  She wanted a few moments alone to cry in peace. Would she ever learn? Sullivan didn’t really care for her. This was all some ruse he used to control everything in his surroundings, and somehow that now included her far more than she liked.

  “It’s not as bad as you’re thinking,” he said, a little taken back at her harsh tone. “I promise what I have to ask is to help you.”

  “I’m sure in your mind it is,” she retorted. “But let’s be honest. This has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with you and whatever insecurities you walk around with inside of you.”

  He flinched. “I’m not insecure about anything.”

  She smiled mockingly. “You keep telling yourself that. But a guy who changes girlfriends as often as you do isn’t a well-adjusted person.”

  Sullivan’s mouth formed a thin white line, and the muscles in his cheeks clenched. He didn’t like that one bit, did he? She’d realized a long time ago that his lack of interest in her had nothing to do with her personally. He had issues far greater than anyone understood and had since his sister disappeared years ago. Some of his shell had started to crack when she was located a few months ago. The gaps in his family had started to be filled with a fragile glue, and one wrong move could make it tumble down around him. Lana understood Sullivan far better than he realized. He didn’t want to make anything permanent because he was afraid he’d lose something dear to him again. Just because she recognized that fault didn’t mean she had to accept it.

  After several moments, Sullivan finally said, “I didn’t come here to argue with you. What I have to ask is rather important. Your mother has been worried for too long about your welfare. What I wanted to discuss with you has to do with her, and in return, you.”

  “What does my mother have to do with anything?” Fear filled her at his words. Were they keeping something important from her? “Is she all right?”

  “Your mother is fine,” he reassured her. “As long as you dismiss her being sick with worry over you, but I think I have a solution that’ll help.”

  “Oh?” She tilted her head. “And what has the mighty Sullivan come up with to solve all of our problems?” She placed her hand over her heart and said mockingly, “What, oh, what would we do without you?”

  He gritted his teeth together and clenched the arm of the chair. She’d pissed him off. It was nice to see she hadn’t lost her touch.

  “When you were unconscious, I thought I missed your smart mouth. I’m starting to regret that now that I have it lashing through me again.”

  “I’m an acquired taste. You’re not lucky enough to have come to appreciate me fully yet. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re not the only one who doesn’t have the ability to become acclimated to all the awesomeness of me.”

  Sometimes she didn’t fully understand how she came up with the things that spilled out of her mouth. She opened it and shit spewed out. For the most part, it had come to her advantage, but sometimes she wished she could take back some of the things she said. She didn’t really want to make Sullivan miserable, and she was tired. It might have been easier to let him get to what he’d come to see her about. Especially if it was about her mother...

  “Lisanna,” he said on a sigh. “You drive a strong man to drink. I’d hate to see what you’d do to a weak one.” He shook his head. “Trust me, I’m more than capable of handling you. I relish the idea of one day having that pleasure.”

  “As if I’d let you have the chance.” she seethed. “Let’s drop this banter and come back to the issue at hand. What do you want so I can kick you out and forget you exist?”

  He chuckled. “Pretend all you want, but we both know you think about me far more than you like.”

  “Please,” she said derisively. “I have far better things to spend my time on, but if it makes you happy, keep imagining that.” Why couldn’t she get the conceited ass out of her system? He’d been so kind to her when she’d first woken up and now—she had to wonder where that version of Sullivan had gone. Then again, she had been a bitch every other time he’d come around. What did she expect from him? “And stop calling me Lisanna. I told you a long time ago...I’m no longer that little girl.”

  “You’ll always be Lisanna to me,” he explained. “I’m not going to call you anything else again. Maybe you should think about why you’re so insistent on being Lana instead of maintaining Lisanna no longer exists.”

  “They’re both the same person, you ass,” she retorted. “The difference is the naïve girl became cynical far too fast. I call bullshit what it is, and I’m looking it directly in the eye right now.”

  “The reflection looks familiar too, doesn’t it?” he replied. “I don’t pull punches either. Are we done with our current pissing contest, and can you sheathe your claws long enough for us to have an important conversation.”

  Lana glared at him. Sometimes she really hated him. She didn’t want to think about the other side of that line when she felt something entirely different. “Say what you came here for before I change my mind.”

  He grinned at her. Some might find that smile of his reassuring, but she saw it for what it was. A challenge—one offered and accepted. He thought he’d won something, and she allowed it in order to end her misery a few seconds sooner. The quicker this was done, the faster she could kick him out.

  “So gracious,” he said with feigned benevolence. “I wanted to speak to you about where you’ll go once you’re released from the hospital.”

  “That’s easy enough,” she replied. “I’m going to my house. Where else would I go?”

  He blew out an exasperated breath. “You have a lot more healing to do. Don’t you think it would be wise to be around people who cared about you and are willing to help if needed?”

  Ah. That’s what he meant about her mother. She would probably fret with her on her own, but she couldn’t live at the mansion or with the memories it held inside its walls. It held that part of her she’d let go of a long time ago. She really didn’t want to be a naïve girl ever again. Lana had worked too hard to become a strong, independent woman, and she wouldn’t be a needy little girl ever again. Her mother would understand.

  “I’m capable of taking care of myself. Besides, I have plenty of friends I can call if I need something.”

  “Why are you so stubborn?” Yup, he was definitely pissed off at her. She couldn’t make herself care either.

  “It’s part of my charm,” she said and then smiled smugly. “You like it too, most of the time.”

  “Bite your tongue,” he told her. “I’ll never admit to enjoying torture of any kind.”

  She could argue with him, but she decided to let it go. He probably didn’t want to admit liking sparring with her, yet they did it on a regular basis. What did that say about the two of them? A psychiatrist would have fun unraveling the dynamics between them. Instead of pushing him though, she decided to give him a little peace offering.

  “You’ve done your duty, Sully,” she said softly. She really was growing tired. “Go home and tell my mother I’ll be fine. There’s no reason for me to stay at the mansion and have her hover over me. She has enough duties to see to without me adding to her burden.”

  “We could hire a nurse to help,” he offered.

  Lana snorted. “I am a nurse. I’m not going to let another one take care of me as I convalesce.”

  “I wish you’d change your mind.” He reached for her but seemed to think better of it and jerked his hand back. “But I won’t push. At least think about it and let me know if you have a change of heart.”

  “Fine,” she agreed. “But I won’t.”

  He nodded and stood. “I’ll let you rest now.”

  As he headed toward the door, Jessica entered. She stopped short at the sight of Sullivan. “I didn’t realize you’d be here,” she said. “I’ll come back.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Lana said. “Sully is leaving, and even if he wasn’t,
I’d prefer your company to his. Come in.” He straightened at her pronouncement and turned to look back at her. The muscles in his jaw twitched as he narrowed his gaze. Sully hadn’t liked that, had he...?

  Jessica glanced between Sullivan and Lana. “I don’t want to intrude.”

  “Then you shouldn’t have come,” Sullivan gritted out. “If not for you, she wouldn’t be here.”

  The color drained from Jessica’s face. Lana glared at Sullivan. “Weren’t you leaving?”

  “I think I’ll stay a little longer,” he replied. “It’s not safe with a viper in the room.”

  Lana wanted to punch him in his pretty face. If she had the strength and thought she could manage it, she might have. Jessica was not to blame for what Imogen Duncan had done. “Leave now before you say something you’ll regret,” she told him. “Jessica is my friend. Most days, I don’t even like you.”

  “Ditto,” he agreed. “But I still look out for those I care about. I don’t have to like you to do that much. Your mother means a great deal to my family.”

  So, he was there because his family wanted to look out for her mother? That sure did put her in her place. She might have pushed him into saying that much, but the message was received. Lana lifted a brow and retorted, “We can leave my mother out of this, and Jessica’s connection to Imogen. We’re not responsible for what other people do, or I’d point out you dated the person responsible for my current predicament.” The color drained from Sullivan’s face. “What? You don’t like being reminded you had the hots for a psycho? Was she at least worth the trouble. Please tell me she gave you—”

  “Enough,” he shouted. His face regained some of its color as his cheeks reddened with fury. “You’re correct. Imogen and I dated, and if I could change that I would. But since I can’t, I have to live with my mistakes. That doesn’t mean I didn’t make the necessary changes to remove the crazy bitch from my life. You should do the same as well.”