A Wallflower's Christmas Kiss (Connected by a Kiss Book 3) Read online

  “Yes, well, you weren’t there. So how would you know?”

  It pained him to see the hurt filling her eyes. She glanced down and played with the rim of her glass. Grayson could tell her he’d gone, but what good would that do? He’d not been able to stay. His father had still been alive then and held him in check. Soon after that the damage had been done and he’d found solace in becoming a man his father despised.

  “Right you are.” He lifted his glass and saluted her. “Your skill at putting me in my place has always been superior.”

  Juliette lifted her glass and took a long unladylike swig. She sat on a nearby settee and settled her glass on the table next to it. “I’m not here to trade barbs with you.”

  “That’s right you had something you wished to discuss.” He swallowed the contents of his drink. The longer she was in his home the harder it was becoming to keep his hands to himself. Perhaps drinking was a foolish idea, but it kept him busy on something other than her. He filled his glass once again and turned his attention to her. “What are you waiting for? Tell me why I’m honored with your presence after I don’t know how many years.”

  “Fifteen,” she replied.

  “Heh?”

  “It has been, well almost, fifteen years since you left for Eton. You didn’t write, you never came home again, and you forgot about me.” She played with her skirt. “The anniversary of the end of our friendship is in less than a sennight, but I don’t expect you to remember.”

  “Right again,” he said. The truth would be his to own. Maybe one day he’d explain it all. Today wasn’t that day. “But we’ve digressed again. Please state your reason for coming here today. I’d like to retire for the evening and this conversation has grown tedious.”

  “It’s simple really,” Juliette said. “I need you to marry me.”

  “Come again?” He had to have heard her wrong. How much of the brandy had he imbibed?

  “You promised me,” she explained. “If I ever needed you, you’d be there for me.” She lifted her lashes and stared into his eyes. “My life depends on your willingness to assist me. This is imperative, please say you’ll help me.”

  Bloody hell... How could he say no to that?

  Easy enough, open up his mouth and utter the words she didn’t want to hear. “No.”

  The Duke of Kissinger wasn’t the marrying sort and it was better she understood that straight away.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “No?” The blasted man had dismissed her without hearing her out. “That’s it? You won’t even listen to me?”

  “If it is to beg me to marry you,” he replied. “Then we’re done. There’s nothing more to say on the matter.”

  Ohhhh. He was so obstinate. She wanted to shake him and make him see reason. Unfortunately that wouldn’t garner in any good. Juliette didn’t believe in wasting her time. He’d left her no choice but to make him listen. Nothing would make her move from his home until he did. The dastardly duke owed her at least that much.

  “I understand.” She forced herself to continue meeting his gaze. “I’d hope the rumors weren’t true.”

  “Trust me they’re much worse,” he replied in a husky tone. “Maybe one day I’ll share some of my more titillating stories with you.”

  “Oh?” Juliette lifted a brow. As if she wanted to hear about him with other women, but perhaps that was the point. He hoped to scare her into silence. She’d bet every last bit of her pin money he’d not appreciate it being turned back on him. “What’s stopping you? I’d love to hear some of your seedier tales. It’s past time we reacquainted ourselves with each other.” She patted the settee, batting her eyelashes at him. “Come sit down and tell me everything.”

  “You’re an unnatural female,” he blustered. “Leave it to you to take the fun out of everything.”

  Well that went better than she’d anticipated. He’d not be unloading his more lecherous proclivities upon her. Juliette was grateful as she’d not been particularly keen about listening to any of it.

  “Are you ready to pay attention now?” She sipped on her brandy. Her life depended on him agreeing to marry her. “I’m rather tired it’s been a trying day. I’d like to settle this so we can move onto the next step.”

  “There is no next step,” Grayson replied. “I believe I said no.”

  Juliette would not be deterred. Her whole life everything good had either been taken away or put on hold. At one time this man before her had been on the list of good things. She’d like for him to be on that list once again. Either way it didn’t change her current situation. Without Grayson’s help she’d be left with little choice. Marrying Lord Payne wasn’t something she could stomach, and might not live through if even a fraction of what she’d heard was true. Most people didn’t pay her any mind and she’d overheard details not meant for innocent ears.

  “My father has arranged a marriage for me...”

  “Good then you don’t need me.” He turned away from her. “Glad we had this chat.”

  What would it take to make him understand how dire her situation was? He’d understand once she said the name of the man her father intended to betroth her to. If she’d heard about his sadistic demeanor, then Grayson would probably have firsthand knowledge. Juliette took a deep breath and said, “Lord Payne.”

  Grayson whipped around and met her gaze. “Viscount Payne?”

  “Is there any other Lord Payne you’re familiar with?”

  He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “What does the lord in question have to do with anything?”

  “Not much,” she said in feigned nonchalance. “He’s only my intended groom.”

  A string of curse words came out of his mouth that should have made Juliette blush. Finally he was beginning to understand the dire nature of her situation. Maybe she should have led with that information. It might have saved her some time. As stubborn as Grayson was though, she doubted it.

  “He’s to sign the contract within the sennight.” She stood and walked over to him. “Less than that from what my father told me earlier. I can’t marry him. I’d prefer to stay a spinster living in a cozy cottage with a bunch of cats for company. Anything is preferable to marrying that dreadful man.” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “I’m desperate or I wouldn’t be here. I’d hoped you would recall the long ago promise and honor it. Please, Gray, help me. If you marry me I’ll have the protection of your name. There would be nothing my father or Lord Payne could do.”

  He scrubbed his hands over his face and sighed. “I don’t want to marry. It’s nothing to do with you, in fact, you deserve far better than the likes of me.” His eyes were filled with a misery she didn’t understand. The joking rake had disappeared and a piece of the Grayson she’d used to know stood before her. “I did make you a promise, and I should keep it. You’re right, Lord Payne can’t have you.”

  “You won’t regret helping me.”

  “I already do.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. “I’ll marry you even though everything inside of me says it’s a terrible idea.”

  She didn’t understand why he thought it would be that bad. What reason could he possibly have for believing that. Surely he’d want an heir of his own. A tingle spread through her at the idea of lying with him. He was a renowned rake and ladies sought him out as a lover. It wouldn’t be all bad—it couldn’t be.

  “I understand,” she replied.

  “Good.” He said. “Then you’ll also understand it will be a marriage in name only. It’s all you need, and as a duchess no one will question you.”

  There went her dreams of having his children. Maybe in time he’d change his mind. For now it was a victory for him to agree to the marriage. “If that’s what you want,” she agreed. “I’m grateful you’re willing to help.”

  “Good,” he said. “Make yourself comfortable it’s going to be a long ride to Gretna Green and I have arrangements to make.”

  Her mouth opened with shock. “You want us to leave immediately?”
/>
  The situation was dire, but did it necessitate they head toward Scotland immediately? He was right in that it was a long journey. A four days ride at the very least, but it would probably be much longer than that in truth. They’d have to stop along the way and change horses. That alone would delay the trips progress, and it didn’t take into account any stops for food or other necessities.

  “You’re here, and at some point your family will realize you’re gone.” He sighed. “If you want to see this wedding through we need to make sure they don’t figure out where or what you have planned and prevent it. I may be a duke, but no respectable family wants to tie me to theirs.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Say that again.” His lips tilted upward. “I may never hear those words from you again.”

  Her lips twitched at his light teasing. He wasn’t brooding any longer and it was a preferable state. She hated seeing him so melancholy. Even his roguish teasing was better than that. They might have a chance of connecting once again. Juliette hoped they would be able to. The walls he’d erected were high and sturdy, but if she was determined enough, and Juliette believed she was, she could knock them down.

  “Didn’t you have some plans to make?”

  “Indeed I did,” he replied. “Wait here and when everything is ready I’ll retrieve you so we can depart.” With that pronouncement he spun on his heels and exited the room.

  ***

  Grayson headed up to his room and shut the door. He leaned his head against it and knocked it lightly against the sturdy wood. What the hell happened downstairs? Was he really going to marry Lady Juliette Brooks. His friends would laugh hysterically when they received word of his downfall. They’d not understand the whys of it. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he wanted to explain it to them. Not once since he’d made their acquaintance had he mentioned his friendship with Juliet. He’d done everything in his power to put her in the past and keep her there.

  What kind of husband could he possibly be? He had no idea how to act decent any more. He’d embraced the life of debauchery and hadn’t seen any reason to stop. For her he’d have to make an effort. If he continued on the path he was on she’d become a laughing stock in society. She was his first friend and he respected her too much to put her through any of that.

  Grayson had told her he had to make plans for their departure. That in itself was a lie. His staff would take care of everything all he had to do was give the order. He’d actually needed time away from her to think. After they were married she’d be his. Why had he told her the marriage would be in name only? What cruel joke was he playing on himself? The only way he’d be able to hold to that was to live in a different house than her. Just being in the same room as her made him itch to touch her. Her skin was creamy and he wanted to find out if it was as soft as it appeared. Juliette’s kid skin gloves beckoned to him. At the first opportunity he wanted to unbutton them, peel them off, and kiss the palm of her hand. There were so many things he craved to do to her, with her, he’d lost count of them all. She’d always fascinated him, but now it was on an entirely different level.

  A knock on the door brought him back to the present. He’d escaped Juliette’s company to make plans for their departure, and he’d yet to make any.

  “Pardon me, Your Grace,” Burrows called through the door. “I’m wondering what you’d like for me to do with Lady Juliette.”

  So did he. Damned if he had any idea. He took a deep breath and opened the door. “Burrows I’m glad you sought me out. Send Smythe upstairs. I need him to prepare my trunk for travel. Also have a footman ready my carriage. Lady Juliette and I are leaving immediately.”

  “As you wish, Your Grace.” Burrows nodded and turned to leave.

  It gave Grayson a few more moments to be alone. Soon Smythe, his valet, would arrive and he’d not have any peace for many days. The journey to Scotland would be tiresome and not leave them much privacy. He prayed her father wouldn’t guess Juliette had come to him, and definitely not uncover their plans for elopement. There shouldn’t be any reason for him to come to that conclusion. Over the years he had made sure to be careful where Juliette was concerned. She might not realize it but everything he did had been for her. His father had threatened her family, and he still had no idea why. What did he gain from keeping them apart? Grayson hadn’t become the obedient boy he’d hoped for, and he sure as hell hadn’t bowed down to him when he reached his majority. The only favor he’d done for Grayson was dying a few years ago. He’d finally been freed from his control once and for all.

  “You summoned me, Your Grace,” Smythe said.

  “Yes,” Grayson turned to him. “Pack my trunk and see it loaded on my carriage. Have a maid pack some of my mother’s gowns she left in residence. They’re going to be needed for Lady Juliette.” They would be a little long, but should fit her otherwise. His mother hadn’t stayed in the ducal townhouse since his father died so they were outdated fashions, but they’d work until he could hire a seamstress to make her more.

  “I’ll make sure it’s all done. Is there anything else you require of me?”

  “No. That’s all.”

  Smythe bowed and started on the task Grayson gave him. There was one task he had to take care of himself. He went over to the lock box in his room and opened it. Inside, nestled on blue velvet, was his mother’s betrothal ring. She’d given it to him upon his father’s passing and told him to start searching for his own duchess. He’d ignored her demand and had no intention of using the ring. If given time he’d have purchased a new one for his intended.

  Maybe he still would, but for the moment his mother’s would do. She’d deserved a ring as a token of his commitment. He’d give it to her on the journey. At least the sapphires would sort of match her eyes—although he doubted a gem could even come close to their sea-green depths.

  After a period of time passed giving the servants to prepare the carriage, Burrows came to inform him everything was ready for their departure. “Thank you Burrows. I’ll inform Lady Juliette myself.”

  He left his room leaving his temporary sanctuary behind. Juliette was where he’d left her, lounging on the settee. “Are you ready?”

  “Nothing I’d rather do than travel to Scotland with you.” She flashed him a warm smile. “Lead the way, Your Grace.”

  Grayson bit back a retort. Juliette had never been formal with him and he found he didn’t like it. Whatever her reason was for doing so now he’d figure it out later. They had more important things to do. Besides they had a long journey ahead and a lot of time to play the question game. He’d figure out what was going on inside that pretty head of hers before they reached their destination.

  Grayson helped Juliette into the carriage, then joined her inside. He took the seat across from her afraid to be too close to her warmth. It was going to be a very long sennight at this rate.

  “Don’t worry no one is going to stop us.”

  He wasn’t entirely sure if that was a good thing or not. “Trust me. I’m not giving it a second thought.” Grayson stared out the window at the night sky. It wasn’t as clear in London as it was at his childhood home, but it gave him something to concentrate on. “Make yourself comfortable. Rest if you’re able too. It will be a while before we stop to exchange horses.”

  Grayson leaned his head against the back of the coach and feigned sleep. It would give him some measure of comfort, and maybe she’d take her cue from him to rest.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Juliette stared across the carriage and attempted to make out Grayson’s features in the dark. The shadow that marked the spot on his seat hadn’t moved or made a sound in what seemed like forever. How could he sleep? It was near impossible for her to find any comfort, let alone rest, between the rocking carriage and frigid weather.

  “Gray,” she called out to him. No answer, blasted man—she didn’t believe he was sleeping. Why was he pretending? Was it so tedious to converse with her? “Your Grace,” Juliette said, “I’ve be
en thinking...” Maybe if she started talking she’d force him to acknowledge he was very much awake. The more outlandish the statement, the more likely he’d be unable to resist responding. “After we’re married, I’ll travel to Rome. You don’t want a wife around hindering your—proclivities—and I’ve always wanted to visit Italy. Your comment about lions earlier brought it to mind.”

  Still nothing from his side of the carriage. She might have to bring it up a notch—or twelve. Good thing she was more than up to the challenge. “I’ve read a lot about the Colosseum and the gladiator matches.” Juliette paused hoping he’d interrupt, but when he didn’t she continued, “Venatores and Bestiarii were a special class of warrior that tangled with a variety of wild beasts. It was more of a gruesome animal hunt, not unlike a hunt sponsored by one of our lords happy to bring an innocent beastie to ground. Lions were a favored species on these hunts. They weren’t the main show—the gladiators were there for that, but they did open the festivities and help feed the blood lust or the spectators. Of course the poor things weren’t always slaughtered for sport, they were also used for executions.”

  “Is there a point to all this drivel?”

  “Yes, I wanted to explain my interest in Rome and why I’ll take a trip there after the wedding.” Her lips tilted upward. Blasted man couldn’t stop himself from responding. “Since it will be a marriage in name only I don’t see why I should stay and run your household. I trust you have competent staff to see to all of it.”

  “You’re not going to Rome by yourself, brat.”

  Oh how she wished she could see his face. It was so hard to gauge his reaction without properly seeing his features. “Oh?” She raised an eyebrow. “Did you want to go too? I didn’t think touring the ruins would be to your taste.”

  “No I have no desire to go to bloody Rome, or any place far from the comfort of my own bed. Let me rephrase that for you—I’m not going to allow you to go anywhere other than to my townhouse or my country estate. I can’t very well protect you if you’re constantly putting yourself in danger.” He sighed and the shadow like shape across from her moved.