Kiss My Heart Goodbye Read online

  “Didn’t my parents offer to pay your tuition?” he asked, his confusion infused into the words.

  She laughed and then said contemptuously, “There are more expenses to going to school then tuition, rich boy.”

  Sullivan flinched at her words. When had she become so outspoken? Hadn’t she always been shy and fumbled with words? “They’d have given you more if you asked.”

  She held her head high and answered, “I like my well-paid education, but I’m not a beggar. I intend to pay them back every penny, and I’d rather not put myself further in debt by taking more than I need.”

  Sullivan felt as if his entire world was tipped upside down. This was not the girl he’d known. Perhaps that had been the point. She wanted a change and set out to do it. She’d even gone so far as to change her name. He tested it on his tongue and said it out loud, “Lana.”

  She lifted a brow. “Yes?”

  “What time is your shift done?”

  “Now, actually,” she replied. “Why?”

  It was a bad idea, but he couldn’t help the words that came out of his mouth. “Come home with me.” He immediately wished he could take them back and leave them unsaid, and at the same time he anxiously hoped she’d say yes.

  She flinched as if he’d slapped her. “I’m not one of your floozies.”

  Damn, he had known it was the wrong thing to say. He didn’t really want that from her. Hell, who was he kidding? He did want that. When he first glimpsed her backside, he had visions of peeling those black jeans off of her slowly and dragging his tongue over her skin. Sullivan wanted to taste every inch of her and have her screaming his name. How could he have so many conflicted emotions about one woman? In some ways, this meeting had turned everything upside down, and he couldn’t be sure where it would lead. He didn’t like it one bit.

  He smiled. “And you never will be, Lana dear.” Sullivan leaned on the bar. “I want to go someplace quiet where we can talk. I’d like to get to know this new you.” He desperately wanted to understand her and figure out what the hell was going on inside of him. This was more than lust, far more than he’d ever experienced, and it scared the hell out of him.

  She nibbled on her bottom lip and he stared. He was a red-blooded male, and yes, he noticed when a sexy woman paid homage to her mouth. Especially, when he wanted to put his mouth on it himself. If he didn’t find something else to focus on, his dick would harden to even more painful degrees.

  “No,” she finally said. “As much as I’d like to indulge this whim of yours, I have to study. I have a final tomorrow morning.”

  He hadn’t realized how much he wanted her to come with him until she told him it wasn’t happening. His heart sank in his chest.

  “Maybe another time,” he said.

  “Doubtful,” Lana replied. “I have to go. My boyfriend’s here.” She gestured toward the door. A tall guy with sandy blond hair and broad shoulders stood at the entrance. “See you around, Sully.”

  She sashayed away from him. Her fine ass in view the entire time... Damn it all. He was hard for Lana Kelly, and she wasn’t available to help him with it. He closed his eyes and counted to ten, then twenty, and still his erection wouldn’t recede. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He had to find a way to get over his sudden fascination with the one woman he couldn’t have. When he opened his eyes, the other bartender was in front of him.

  “What can I get you, honey?”

  “What’s your name, beautiful?” he asked. She was blonde, curvy, and sexy in her own way.

  “Colleen,” she replied. She lifted her lips enticingly. “What do I call you?”

  “Sullivan.” There was only one cure for what ailed him. “I need three slippery nipples,” he said and then lifted the corner of his mouth into one of his more charming smiles. “Four if you care to join us.”

  The bartender made up the three shots and handed them to him. “On the house,” she told him. “Come find me at the end of the night.”

  An invitation he fully intended to accept. He had to do something to forget Lana, and he was willing to start with the other bartender. She wasn’t as sexy, and no one would compare, but that didn’t matter. His heart couldn’t take a night with Lana Kelly. She was the type a man kept...

  CHAPTER ONE

  A steady beep from the monitors filled the room. The constant thrum was enough to drive a sane man to lose his mind. Hell, the events of the past several days had damn near done Sullivan Brady in. The stark white room was blinding in its intensity, and Lana’s pale skin nearly glowed against it. A single light was lit above her bed, leaving the rest of the room in relative darkness. She remained unconscious and had been for two weeks. A medically induced coma the doctors had assured them all was necessary.

  Sullivan slowly made his way to her bedside. He didn’t want to disturb her even though he realized that was an impossibility. She was drugged in order to sleep through everything, and even a stampede through her room wouldn’t wake her. Sometimes he wished it would. He had to see her eyes opened and hear her sassy voice as she raked him over the coals.

  He hadn’t wanted to leave Lana’s side, but others had forced him out. Her mother had a bigger claim than he did, but none of them understood. As long as she lay in the hospital bed, he couldn’t leave and barely functioned. Everyone thought he’d left, but he’d made himself scarce when others were around. He couldn’t let them realize the amount of terror that filled his heart when he’d found out about her car accident. If there was even a remote chance she might—no, he wouldn’t even think of that possibility. She was fine. He’d made sure she had the best care. If the psycho bitch, Imogen Duncan, hadn’t tried to murder her own sister, Jessica Sousa, none of this would have happened. Lana would’ve been safe. Instead, she’d been caught in the crossfire of a years-old vendetta.

  “Mr. Sullivan,” a nurse said. “We all thought you’d gone home.”

  He shook his head and didn’t look at her. “I had to see her again before I could leave.” Truthfully, he’d make use of the office he’d acquired when Daniella had been shot a couple months ago. He’d slept there when forced to rest. He was there again earlier, trying to not think about Lana and her condition. Something had made him stand up and come back to her room. Now that he was there, nothing could pry his gaze from Lana’s unconscious form on the hospital bed. A lump formed in his throat and wouldn’t go away. He’d wasted so much time pushing her away. Why did he have to be a damn fool? If he could go back... No, thinking that way didn’t help anything.

  There was no changing the path they’d found themselves taking. Lana had pushed him away too. They had both made that decision; however, maybe it was time to find out what her reasons were. There had to be a way for them to set their differences aside and figure out if they had a future. This was the wakeup call he had needed to knock some sense into his stubborn head.

  “It’s good you’re here,” the nurse told him. “The doctor decided it’s time for her to wake up. They stopped the medicine keeping her asleep a few hours ago. She might wake up soon, and it will be good for her to see a friendly face.”

  He jerked his head up to meet her gaze. “Why didn’t anyone say something sooner? Her mother should be here...” Not him—never him. She’d probably have a setback of some sort seeing him first. They weren’t in a good place, yet. He fully intended to change that, but she would need time to acclimate to it.

  Mrs. Kelly should be there with her daughter. He should call her. He closed his eyes and sighed. It was late, and everyone else would already be asleep at the mansion. They’d all be here in the morning, and that was soon enough to realize Lana would be waking. They shouldn’t have decided to do this in the middle of the damn night. If he hadn’t paid the hospital a massive amount of money for the privilege of coming and going as he pleased, even he wouldn’t have been here.

  “The doctor didn’t want to add any anxiety,” the nurse explained. “Her heart went through a lot of stress. The tear might have been small, but
if they hadn’t caught it in time she would have died. Dr. West is being cautious.”

  Why did the nurse have to repeat how Lana could have died? The reminder stared him in the face every time he glanced at her lying on the hospital bed. The whole experience was a nightmare he wished he could wake up from. Sadly, the reality kept smacking him in the face. Each day, a new dose spilled over, making him regret many of the decisions he’d made along the way.

  “Is he going to be here when she wakes up?”

  The nurse nibbled on her lip. Preston better well be there when Lana opened her eyes. This was his idea, and he was her doctor. Sullivan didn’t like how the nurse stalled. He wanted to shake the answers out of her but refrained from doing so—barely.

  “The thing is, it’s hard to tell when she will shake the drugs from her system. We’re to watch her and call him immediately when she wakes. He’ll be here as soon as possible once she’s conscious.”

  Sullivan didn’t like it; nevertheless, it made a strange bit of sense. The medical staff at Envill East was the best. He had to trust they could handle their jobs. He couldn’t do anything to help Lana but hang by her bedside and pray she made it through the ordeal. It killed him to watch her and remain helpless.

  “Should I stay?” He wanted to, and at the same time it terrified him. “The doctor is doing this now for a reason. Will my being here hurt her?” He’d rather cut out his own heart than harm her in any way.

  “It’s fine if you are here.” The nurse smiled at him. “As I said as I walked in, it’s good for at least one person to be here when she wakes. It’s a crowd that might be too much, and during the daytime hours she has more visitors.”

  Lana had a lot of people who cared for her. They deserved to be in her life far more than he did. Someone better than him should be there for her, but as he was all she had at the moment, he’d do what he could.

  “She can wake at any time?” he asked.

  “I expect soon,” the nurse replied. “I’ll leave you alone with her. Push her call button if she wakes, and I’ll come right in.”

  He nodded and pulled up a chair to sit at Lana’s bedside. He wasn’t leaving even if a part of him wanted to run as far away as possible. He didn’t want to avoid her, but the feelings she invoked inside of him left him on edge. Sometimes old habits were hard to break. They’d had this teasing relationship that bordered on derision for years now. He didn’t understand why Lana appeared to hate him, but he allowed her snide remarks because sometimes he believed he deserved them. Plus, he didn’t think she really carried that much antipathy toward him. For the most part, it was a game they played and couldn’t stop. Sullivan respected her far more than he did any woman outside of his family. For her, he would try to be a better man. He wasn’t entirely sure he was capable of it...

  A SHARP PAIN STABBED her in the head, and her breathing... Oh, God... Who had punched her in the chest and set a heavy weight on top of it too? What was that beeping? Where the hell was she? She moved her hand and clawed at her side, trying to figure out what was going on. A soft material filled her palm as she clenched it tight. Her breathing became even more ragged, and the beeping became louder, shrilling in her ears. The crunch of metal and shattering glass joined the beeping comingling into a chaos of sounds. They echoed around her, bringing back the moment her car had been struck and careened off the side of the road. Stinging pain spread through her, paralyzing her in place. Panic seized her as she tried to regain a sense of control over herself and her surroundings.

  “Sshh,” a man said.

  It soothed her in a way she couldn’t quite explain. She hadn’t realized she was screaming until his voice filled her ears. Who was there with her? Slowly, she opened her eyes and found nothing but blurriness. She blinked several times until he came into focus. The handsome devil who wouldn’t leave her thoughts, no matter how many times she tried to exorcise him from them, stared at her with concern. That couldn’t be a good sign. “Sully?” Her throat was raw, making her voice hoarse.

  His dark locks and emerald green eyes were only part of his male beauty. He was the complete package—sinful mouth, chiseled cheekbones, and a well-defined body. Too bad he was a consummate playboy and unattainable. He’d probably outshine Lucifer himself as the most stunning fallen angel in existence. The very definition of wickedness described Sullivan Brady.

  “Don’t talk,” he told her. “I’ll get the nurse.”

  She reached out and latched onto his wrist to hold him in place. Normally, he wouldn’t be her first choice as a companion, but she was terrified, and he was the only thing familiar around her. “Don’t go.”

  “I’m not leaving,” he reassured her. “I’m going to push the call button.”

  He had mentioned a nurse. Was she in the hospital? She had to be; otherwise, none of this would make sense. What reason could Sullivan have for being there? Where was her mother? Lana took the time to finally get a look at her surroundings. She recognized the room, or rather one of the rooms located in the hospital. She’d been in them before working as a nurse. There were a few intensive care rooms available. She must have been injured gravely to be in one of them. The beeping came from the monitors surrounding her. They measured her heartbeats, oxygen levels, and blood pressure. She glanced at them, taking note of the numbers. They didn’t look bad...

  “Sleeping beauty awakes,” another male said. She glanced up and met Preston West’s gaze. “How are you feeling?”

  She licked her lips. They were a little dry and cracked. Her mouth was so parched her tongue felt like cotton. “Can I have some water?”

  “In a moment,” Dr. West said. “Let me examine you, and then the nurse can get some ice chips for you.”

  She nodded. “Where did Sullivan go?” He’d said he wouldn’t leave her. Why would he have stayed though? It wasn’t as if he was anything to her. At one time she’d hoped to be more to him. A silly girlish fantasy that died as quickly as it had sprung to life.

  “I’m here,” he said. She turned her head to the direction his voice had come from. He was leaning against the window ledge. His gaze had an intensity to it that sent shivers down her spine. He stared at her as if he had never seen her before. She had to be imagining it. Sullivan Brady had better things to do than babysit her in the hospital. She would have to ask who browbeat him to sit by her side. Her mother must have needed a break, and he was doing the honorable thing.

  “You don’t have to stay,” she said. “I’m all right now.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Lisanna,” he said firmly.

  A part of her she’d thought she buried sprung to life at the use of her real name. She’d not been called Lisanna in years and had made everyone use Lana. Even her paperwork at the hospital reflected the use of her nickname. Not many people remembered her as Lisanna. Her mother still called her that upon occasion, usually when she was upset. Sullivan hadn’t called her Lisanna in so long she forgot how it sounded coming out of his mouth. Something had changed with him, but she wasn’t sure if she liked it.

  Lana decided to ignore him and directed her attention to Preston. “What happened to me?”

  “You were in an accident with Jessica,” he replied. “What do you remember?”

  A flash of light filled her mind and then the crunch of metal on metal. The tires squealing and the pain—it had been so horrible.

  The nurse came in and handed her a cup of ice chips. Lana spooned some into her mouth and reminded herself the accident was over with. She didn’t want to relive it ever again, but feared it would haunt her nightmares for some time to come. After she swallowed the ice chips she glanced up at Preston and answered his question, “I was taking her to the hospital.” Lana didn’t want to tell him anything more. Jessica may not have confessed everything to him yet, and even though she thought he had a right to know all, it wasn’t Lana’s secret to tell. “A car hit us on the way.”

  “That’s correct,” he said. “Jessica is fine. She had her procedure and
went home a couple weeks ago. She’ll be happy to see you’re awake.”

  Lana frowned. “She wasn’t hurt?”

  “I didn’t say that,” Preston said. “She did require surgery outside of the procedure she was scheduled for. You were hurt far worse though.”

  If Lana read between the lines, then Preston was aware of what procedure Jessica had come in for. Still, she wouldn’t take any chances. After she talked with Jessica, she’d have a better understanding of what was going on with her.

  “What happened to me?”

  “That bitch, Imogen, wanted revenge on her sister and ran you off the road,” Sullivan spat out. “She’ll be prosecuted for attempted murder.”

  Preston glared at him. “Now isn’t the time for that.”

  Sullivan’s lips formed a thin line. He was pissed... Who was Imogen’s sister? Did he mean Jessica? Her head hurt thinking about it. She rubbed her fingers over her temple then returned her attention back to Preston. His anger seemed directed at Imogen. Did he even realize his own culpability? He’d dated her and welcomed the bitch into their lives. Lana hadn’t liked Imogen from the start, and that had been before Sullivan started dating her. Of course, it hadn’t helped that he’d taken a liking to the blonde bimbo, but that wasn’t the point. He hadn’t seen her for more than a pretty face, and he wanted to place the blame on others for Imogen’s actions. Imogen, and only Imogen, was responsible for the havoc she’d caused.

  “You had a small tear on the membrane around your heart. One of your ribs punctured a lung and also cut into your heart. Luckily, you weren’t far from the hospital and the first responders reacted quickly, or you might not have survived.”

  Lana gulped. A tear in the heart could have been fatal. She was lucky to have lived. If it had happened anywhere else, and if Preston hadn’t been her doctor... She shook the thought away. Things happened for a reason. She wasn’t sure what that was at the moment, but she’d figure it out later.