Find Me Love Page 5

  “Oh, we will, will we?” She mocked him. “Why would we do anything so ridiculous?”

  “Because I fully plan on courting you. To do that it requires we spend time together.”

  “Did you hit your head?” She stopped and glared up at him. “Or find a cask of brandy to drink somewhere along the way? You and I are not going to do anything together or did you forget I don’t like you?”

  “That’s the thing,” he replied easily. “I think you like me more than you’re willing to admit.” He grinned. “Besides I don’t believe you’d appreciate me sending a missive to your father and enlightening him about your activities.”

  “Oh…” She stomped her foot. “I hate you.”

  “Ah—there it is.” He held back a laugh. “I was waiting for you to spout your undying love.” Luther held his hand across his chest. “My heart beats for you.”

  “You’re horrible,” she replied. “And irritating.”

  “But you do like me—admit it.”

  “I…you…ohhh.”

  She turned away from him and hit her feet heavily against the street as she walked. He whistled lightly and followed her. “I think you’re protesting a little too much.”

  She stopped, spun on her heels and glared up at him. He managed to halt just before he ran into her, but they were still rather close together. He could almost feel her breaths so little separated them. His heart beat heavily in his chest. It would be so easy to lean down and press his lips against hers. That might be pushing things a bit too far. They weren’t at the point where kissing was involved—yet.

  Her eyes were beautiful in the moonlight. They were almost mesmerizing and drowsy at the same time. Her lids dropped a little low as she licked her lips. She might want to kiss him as much as he wanted it too. Should he give into the temptation? Would she be mad at him if he did? He shook his head and the thought away. A gentleman didn’t take advantage of a lady. Especially, one he hoped to one day marry. Taking a step back was one of the hardest things he’d ever done.

  The whole night had gone to hell. She didn’t know what had happened and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. He was so close she could feel the heat flowing off of him in waves. She had the urge to get near him and run her hands through his hair. Diana had almost given into the urge when he had taken a step back. Even then she wanted to move forward, but she managed to stay in one place.

  She let him retreat. It was for the best anyway. She’d always been attracted to him and that wouldn’t change. They weren’t a good match any way she looked at it. Lord Northesk liked to dictate to her and refused to listen to what she actually wanted. He’d never allow her to continue fencing and she loved it. Courting was a bad idea all around, and yet, she was going to agree to it. Not because she believed he was the man for her, but because she couldn’t allow him to write to her father. Not that her father would be mad about the fencing part, but the gaming hell was another story. He’d put an end to her impromptu matches and the whole betting book for them. Fencing was her project and she wouldn’t stop doing them.

  “About this courting idea of yours…”

  “You’re agreeing to it.”

  He was back to ordering her around. Diana didn’t like it one bit and he’d learn that he wouldn’t always get his way with her. “I’m not saying yes,” she replied. “and I’m not saying no, but I’m willing to discuss the possibility.”

  “So you would rather your freedoms become considerably more restricted than spend some time in my company?”

  Why did he have to make sense? Would it be so bad for them to go on a few outings together? He was an arrogant arse, but he was much preferable to the alternative. “I just think we need a few rules before we enter into this devil’s bargain.”

  “You think so highly of me,” he said drolly. “and say the sweetest things. Whatever will I do with such high compliments.”

  Any more comments like that and she’d be constantly rolling her eyes. Things were not exactly progressing as she’d like. He would not distract her from her goal. She chose to ignore his statement and start listing off her rules. “I will agree to a courtship, but with a finite amount of time. I won’t keep up this charade more than a fortnight. At the end of that time you agree to leave me alone and not write anything to my father.”

  “I’ll agree to your conditions with one stipulation.”

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “That you do everything I say for that time period. That includes all our outings and what you choose to do alone outside of your townhouse. I don’t want you going to that gaming hell on your own.”

  She’d never wanted to punch a man before, but he really brought the urge out in her. He was so bloody frustrating and too damn handsome for his own good. “I’m afraid I can’t agree to all of that. My time is my own and I won’t answer to you how I spend it. I will agree to listen to you and take what you have to say under consideration, but at the end of the day I will chose how I act and spend my time.” She blew out a breath. “Now, you suggested a drive at Rotten Row. I’ll agree to that as a beginning of this charade.”

  “Was that so difficult?” He lifted a brow.

  They turned at the corner and down the street where her family’s townhouse was located. They walked the remainder of the time in silence. When they reached her door they stopped. She turned to face him and opened her mouth to speak but she couldn’t find the words she searched for. Diana closed her mouth and swallowed hard, then said, “With you nothing is ever simple. It’s in your nature to make things as complex as possible.”

  “It’s going to be an entertaining fortnight.” The corner of his lip tilted upward into an enticing smile. “I do believe you’ll keep things interesting.”

  “I do live to amuse you,” she replied drolly. “How did I ever survive this long without your compelling company?”

  “I do have my charms.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to her cheek with a light kiss. “I mean to prove that I’m worthy of you. If all I have is a fortnight to do it then I will take it.”

  “Go,” she said and pushed him away. “If I am to suffer your company I’ll need my rest.”

  She didn’t say another word. What else did they have to discuss? There wasn’t a whole lot that they hadn’t talked about during the course of the evening. He had left her with a lot to think about. She still couldn’t believe he wanted to court her. Did he really think they’d make a good match? What happened to his roguish ways? What had changed? Those were all questions she’d ask him over the course of the fortnight she was being forced to spend with him.

  She’d once hoped that she’d find love and had given up on the idea. Diana was afraid to give anyone her heart. Especially, the likes of Lord Northesk… He hadn’t given her any reason to have any faith in him, and she didn’t see how he’d be able to prove himself to her over such a short period of time. She was certain of one thing—at the end of it she’d continue to have her freedom. No man would take that away from her. She loved her life and the people in it. Lord Northesk would not have the control over her that he sought. Diana would not stand for it…

  Chapter Six

  Rain drops beat against the windows in a staccato pattern. Diana stared out at the inclement weather and the gloom it brought the day. The good news was if it kept falling from the sky at its current intervals she’d be spared spending time with Lord Northesk at Rotten Row; however, the bad part was she hadn’t been able to meet Narissa at the club. She’d sent a note with one of the maids earlier that she would meet with her at another time. Lady Katherine and Lulia were expected for tea soon. Hopefully the rain wouldn’t keep them away.

  The library in her family’s London townhouse was Diana’s favorite room in the entire house. She’d ordered tea to be sent there and it was where she waited for her friends to join her.

  “Pardon me, my lady,” a maid said. Her voice brought Diana out of her thoughts.

  “Yes, Alice?”

  “Ther
e was a mishap with the tea cakes.” She frowned. “I’m afraid they were burnt—Mrs. Carson begs forgiveness and a little time to prepare something else.”

  Diana sighed. Katherine and Lulia hadn’t arrived yet. She could be forgiving and allow the cook to find a replacement for their afternoon tea. Though truthfully, Diana didn’t really care. She had almost no appetite after the prior evening. “That’s fine,” she replied. “Tell Mrs. Carson that whatever she sends will work.” Alice curtsied and left the room. Diana returned to her thoughts and the man who refused to leave them.

  What was Lord Northesk thinking? He’d never had much interest in her before. Why would he suddenly have grown this ludicrous attachment to her? She wished, not for the first time since the entire thing began, that she understood his motivations. The more time that went by the more she started to believe she never would. Her whole world changed in one night and it didn’t seem as if she’d return to her normal existence any time soon. Lord Northesk was insisting on courting her, and for now she would have no choice but to give him that chance. Though in her heart of hearts she secretly was rather glad about it… No man had bothered to pay any attention to her and if she were to choose one to notice her—it would have been Lord Northesk. Even when he irritated her she couldn’t stop herself from wanting him.

  “What has you so maudlin?”

  “Ah, Katherine,” Diana said then smiled. “I’m glad you’re here. I was afraid you wouldn’t want to brave the rain.”

  “It’s not my favorite weather.” Her lips turned upward. “But that’s what carriages are for. Less wetness to ruin my mood.”

  Diana laughed and hugged her friend. “I suppose that is true.”

  “Did I miss something exciting?” Lulia asked as she entered the room. “I thought we were having tea.”

  Katherine stepped away from Diana and glanced at Lulia. “There isn’t anything that lively occurring that I’m aware of. As to the tea…” She turned back to Diana. “Perhaps you can enlighten us on that?”

  Diana shook her head and sat down. “Come join me. Tea will be here when it’s ready. In the meantime there are some things I’d like to discuss with both of you.”

  Lulia sat in the chair near Diana, and Katherine settled onto the chaise. They both then stared at her expectantly. If she was going to make it through this courtship that Lord Northesk insisted on then she’d need the advice of her friends. She had no clue how to proceed or what direction she should take. Chaos reigned inside of her and the storm that brewed within her refused to find its calm center.

  “You’re not speaking. Didn’t you just say you wanted to discuss something with us?” Lulia spoke breaking the silence. “Does this perhaps have something to do with that lord who followed you around like a lost puppy last night?”

  Diana scrunched her nose up. “I’m not sure that is an apt description, but yes, I want to discuss Lord Northesk.”

  “I never liked him,” Lulia said. “He’s rather arrogant and condescending.”

  Sometimes she forgot that Lulia had met Lord Northesk before. He had been rather difficult during that encounter. She’d not thought much about it at the time. He had been grieving for his father and she’d respected that. That had been years ago and he had no excuse for his current behavior. “You’re correct,” Diana said. “I did want to discuss Lord Northesk.”

  Katherine lifted a brow. “I trust he was on his best behavior after you left last night?”

  Diana wasn’t sure if that was how she’d describe the way Lord Northesk acted. He’d been so sure of himself. Lulia had one thing right about him. He was rather arrogant. It was a character trait that made him irritating and interesting at the same time. “He was a gentleman.” A roguish one…

  “Then I don’t need to stab him with my favorite rapier the next time I see him.” Lulia said nonchalantly. “As long as he continues to behave then he’s safe to live another day.”

  Her gypsy friend could be rather protective of her. They’d bonded over the years and all the fencing lessons. She’d stopped traveling with her people to stay near Diana. “Don’t worry he wouldn’t mistreat me.” Diana believed that completely. He might be one of the biggest rogues of the ton, but he wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want him to. “He wants to court me.”

  “I’m not surprised,” Katherine said. “I saw the way he looked at you. That man is smitten.”

  “It doesn’t make sense.” Diana stood and started to pace the room. “Something like this doesn’t happen suddenly.”

  He’d barely paid attention to her before. She couldn’t even recall the last time they’d had a conversation before last night. She didn’t believe for a second that he decided to court her out of the blue. There had to be more to it than that. Diana had been in London for a while and he hadn’t made any indication he wanted to marry her before. What changed?

  “It’s not as abrupt as you believe,” Lulia said then sighed. “He’s always wanted you. I realized it when I met him six years ago. You were too young then and he had his own issues, but it has always been there.”

  “Don’t think too hard on it,” Katherine offered. “Just let him court you and see where it leads you. No one said you had to make a decision today.”

  They were right. Of course they were. Well, she wasn’t so sure about Lulia’s statement. He’d been cordial to her back then. She had clearly seen something Diana hadn’t. Of course, she’d been a sixteen year old girl and completely innocent. Lulia understood things of that nature far better than she did, even now. “I’m supposed to go with him to Rotten Row today.”

  “Not if this rain doesn’t let up.” Katherine frowned. “I hate when it rains. I wish it would stop already.”

  “There are things we can do to entertain ourselves if need be. Diana hasn’t fenced in a fortnight. You’re past due.” Lulia stood. “If we’re not having tea then we might as well exercise.”

  As if on cue a maid pushed in a tea cart. There were no tea cakes on it, but Diana didn’t expect there would be. The cook had made up scones and sent them in with some jam. Her stomach nearly grumbled at the sight of the food. She hadn’t been hungry before but now she was nearly starving. Talking with her friends had helped far more than she had anticipated it would.

  Lulia sighed. “Fine we will fence after we have tea.”

  “Sometimes it seems like that’s all you care about.” Katherine laughed. “There are other things in life.”

  “Such as?”

  “Oh I don’t know—love, happiness, purpose.” Katherine listed off a few things as examples. “What makes fencing so wonderful to you?”

  The maid poured tea and gave each of them a cup. “Will there be anything else, my lady?”

  “No,” Diana replied. “That will be all. Come collect the cart later.”

  “Very good,” the maid said before she exited the room.

  “Love isn’t for everyone,” Lulia explained. “It requires trust and I’m not certain there is a man alive I’d willingly give my heart to.”

  That was kind of sad. Not that Diana ever expected to find a gentleman to give her heart to. She’d admired Lord Northesk but had never seen him as any real possibility. She wasn’t certain she did now. “There may be someone out there for you,” Diana told Lulia. “You never know what fate has in store for you.”

  “My dear you have a good heart. I fear that one day it will be broken and there will be no healing it then.” She picked up a scone and slathered jam on it. “Protect it for as long as you can because once the cold settles in nothing will ever be warm again.”

  “That’s an ominous statement,” Katherine said. “You don’t really believe that.”

  “It’s true,” Lulia replied matter-of-factly. “I’ve seen it often enough. Some people love only once. Diana is one of them. The next few days will be a trial for her. When it’s done she’ll understand.”

  “Understand what?” Diana asked. Lulia could be so enigmatic. It came with her gypsy root
s. It wasn’t the first time she’d said something similar only for it to come to pass later on. “Do you think he’s going to hurt me?”

  “Not physically,” Lulia replied then took a bite of her scone. After she chewed and swallowed she continued. “He means well, but he is a man. He’ll do something stupid. How you handle it will determine your future and the path you’re meant to take.”

  Katherine shook her head. “I hope you’re not around when I finally meet a gentleman worth having. So far I haven’t met one I like.”

  “In that you’re wrong, but it is a discussion for another day.” Lulia finished eating her scone. “You’re just as blind as she is.”

  Diana didn’t appreciate Lulia’s attitude. She was lucky that Diana cared about her or she’d have stopped allowing her in the house. She could be brutal with her honesty. “Don’t listen to her, Katherine,” Diana said. “She’s grumpy because it took too long to eat. There was a mishap in the kitchen and cook had to find something else to serve for tea.”

  “You could have mentioned that sooner,” Lulia said. “It’s rude to invite us for tea and not have it ready when we arrive.”

  That statement proved her point. Diana and Katherine had yet to eat a scone and Lulia had already eaten three. “I forgot.” She had actually—her thoughts wandered to Lord Northesk and hadn’t returned to the burnt tea cakes. “I apologize.”

  “As you should,” Lulia replied. “Now about Lord Northesk…”

  “Not another word,” Diana interrupted her. “I’ll figure it out in time. There isn’t much to decide right now anyway. I agreed to let him court me for a fortnight. I assume that’s what you meant in your earlier prediction. At the end of it I’ll understand it fully.”

  “Indeed you will,” Lulia said. “I have faith you’ll make the right decision. Now are you ready to fence.”

  Diana sighed. Lulia tended to think about two things: fencing and food. It was almost humorous at times. “Not today,” she said to Lulia. “I have to send Lord Northesk a missive and cancel our outing. That will give him the opportunity to either reschedule or find something else for us that will keep us out of the rain.”