Find Me Love Page 3

  “Dobbs,” Luther bellowed for his valet as he stormed into his bedchamber.

  Dobbs dipped his head around the corner of Luther’s dressing room. “Yes, my lord?” His hair was graying around the temples and his eyes were weathered with wrinkles. Dobbs had been Luther’s father’s valet before he’d been his. In some ways that was strange for him. The older man knew his father better than Luther did. That was a little hard for him to stomach when he allowed himself to think about it.

  “I need you to pull out my evening clothes and help me prepare for a night out.”

  “Another long night planned at your club?” Dobbs lifted his brow.

  He was probably judging him. Luther couldn’t blame him for it. He was a first rate arse most days. It was time he faced the truth, and started making some long overdue changes. Six years of letting his grief rule him wasn’t any way to live. His father would have wanted more from him than constant numbing revelry. Luther met Dobbs’s gaze. “No club tonight. I’ll be attending the Silverton ball.”

  Dobbs was well trained but Luther didn’t miss his eyes widening before his usual cool composure returned. “Very good, my lord.”

  Luther had learned over the years how to appear sober when he was completely foxed—he may have imbibed too much to accomplish that fete at the ball. He’d been steadily drinking brandy since he’s awoken for the day. He may not be thinking clearly and hoped he made the right decision. The Silverton ball was the start of an all new Earl of Northesk. After the night was through he wanted to achieve two things—sobriety and a new standing in society.

  His valet helped him dress and having his formal evening attire on already made him feel as if he could change his life for the better. He might never be perfect, and he certainly didn’t strive to be, but he would be the best man possible. It was rather disgusting he’d let himself turn into a rogue and all around reprobate.

  “Will there be anything else, my lord?” Dobbs brushed the back of Luther’s coat to smooth it down.

  “That will be all,” Luther answered him. There wasn’t much the valet could do that he hadn’t already. The rest of it would be up to him. Dobbs couldn’t attend the ball for him. “Don’t wait up for me.”

  “All right.” Dobbs bowed and left Luther alone.

  He took a deep breath and exited his bedchamber. He wouldn’t be the first to arrive at the ball. It was far better to be fashionably late. It would also give him more time to allow the brandy to leave his system. Instead of calling for his carriage, or his horse he decided to walk to the Silverton townhouse. The longer it took him to arrive the better it would be for him.

  Luther exited his home. The cool night air hit him immediately and giving him courage to keep to the path he’d set for himself. It would all work—it had to, because he was tired of the man he’d turned into. He rubbed his hands together for some warmth and started toward the direction of the ball. His future awaited him there.

  Diana scanned the ballroom. The dancing had started and almost everyone who had been invited was in attendance. The Silverton ball was always a crush. One of the reasons it made a good event to have one of her fencing matches. The more people around made it easier to disappear—and not be discovered. But the latter was always a risk and part of what made the matches exciting.

  Lulia and Bessie would already be in the garden setting up for the fencing match. It was Diana’s job to judge the match and declare a winner if there was a doubt. Lady Mary was in a corner with several of her suitors acting well—merry. The debutante was one of the biggest flirts in society and had several men fawning over her at every event. Diana didn’t dislike her exactly, but a small part of her couldn’t help hating her. The other lady made everything appear so easy. Diana struggled to fit seamlessly into society and her effort never resulted in anything resembling pretty. She wasn’t beautiful and she didn’t stand out as a diamond to be admired. At best she was average with her plain blonde hair and light blue eyes—a simple country girl without much to recommend her.

  “Earl of Northesk,” one of the Silverton’s staff announced.

  Diana turned to see him as he entered. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen him at a society function. The rumors of his activities were abundant though. He’d become one of the wickedest rogues of the ton. He imbibed often, gambled, and chased any lightskirt in his vicinity. What the blazes was he doing at the Silverton ball?

  Diana chewed on her bottom lip. Should she go and speak to him? He was her closest neighbor… No, she would let him be. If he wanted to maintain their neighborly relationship he could have called on her when she arrived in town several years ago. She had other things she had to see to—one of them being Lady Mary. Diana glanced over at her and frowned. The debutante stared at Lord Northesk as if he was the only man in the world and he’d been placed at the ball for her pleasure. God save her from young debs… The earl would chew her up and spit her out with little effort. If the girl didn’t get herself under control she’d be chasing him around the room and the match would be that much harder to see finished. Bessie was counting on her. If she won the match she would secure her financial freedom.

  Diana pushed through the guests looming around the floor and headed toward Lady Mary and hit a solid wall. She glanced up and met Lord Northesk’s green eyes. They were a little glassy, but they still held a hint of recognition. At least he didn’t seem to have forgotten who she was. “Lord Northesk.” She licked her lips nervously. “My apologies.” How had he managed to move so fast though the crowd? He was taller—perhaps that made things easier.

  “Don’t concern yourself with anything of the sort,” he replied. “Lady…”

  So much for him not forgetting her... She sighed. “Diana,” she reminded him. “Your neighbor in Norfolk—or rather my father is I suppose.”

  “It’s my turn to apologize.” He frowned. “Isn’t there usually dancing at these things?”

  “Yes,” she replied evenly. It was not the time to lose her temper. “The musicians are just waiting for Lady Silverton to give them the nod to start.”

  “I see.” He stared over her head at the musicians. “I don’t remember balls being so—tedious.”

  Was he foxed? He appeared to have control of all his facilities but a lingering odor of brandy hung around him. She didn’t want to point that out. Maybe he’d only had a drink or two before coming to the ball. Many gentlemen did such things. She shouldn’t hold it against him. “I’m afraid the amount of boredom you find at any society function depends on how you perceive it. It’s all in your approach to them.”

  He returned his attention to her. “Oh?” he replied with a lift of his brow.

  She should have walked away, but no, she couldn’t do anything the easy way. Lord Northesk was her weakness. She’d always found him appealing and devilishly handsome. Unfortunately, he was an arse more often than not. Why did he have to be so darn handsome? His dark hair, chiseled jaw, and deep green eyes—all ingredients that made up one gorgeous male. “Find something you enjoy and seek it out. It’s quite simple.”

  Music started to fill the room signaling the start of the dancing portion of the evening. Diana didn’t partake in that particular activity, but it was a different sort of sign for her. It meant that she had to find Lady Mary and find a reason to leave the ball for a short time. Lady Mary had to change out of her gown and into her fencing outfit.

  “You make a valid argument,” Lord Northesk replied breaking her out of her own thoughts. “Will you dance with me?”

  Had he just asked her to dance? Diana had to have heard him incorrectly. “Pardon me?”

  “You do dance don’t you?” His voice held something in it—almost like a dare echoing back at her.

  “With you?” She tilted her head. “Or with anyone?”

  “Either works.” His lips tilted upward into a devilish smile. “But at the moment I’d prefer you did a turn with me.”

  How could she possibly turn him down graceful
ly? She glanced around the room and met Lady Mary’s gaze. The debutante didn’t look pleased. Diana wasn’t sure if it was because she conversed with Lord Northesk or because he held her up. It might even be a little bit of both. One thing was certain though—she’d not be able to shake Lord Northesk easily. Dancing with him would be the quickest way to put some distance between them. Afterward she could escape and head to the garden for the fencing match. There was only one answer she could give him.

  “It would be my pleasure.” Sadly, that was the complete truth. She didn’t get to dance often, and he was the one man she’d always dreamed of spinning her around the floor. It didn’t hurt that the strands of a waltz echoed through the room either. Diana never had the opportunity to enjoy the risqué dance.

  “Oh,” he leaned down and whispered in her ear as he led her to the floor. His voice was like warm honey mixed with pure sin. “The pleasure will be all mine.”

  She was doomed. Diana didn’t know what was happening to her, but she was certain it led nowhere good. She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and let him pull her into his arms for the waltz. They floated across the floor as if they’d done it a million times, and in a way they had, in every single one of her dreams. Although reality couldn’t compare to what her mind had conjured. It was so much better and mere words would never fully describe how wonderful it turned out to be…

  Chapter Three

  Luther blundered from the start and he was damned lucky she’d agreed to dance with him. He couldn’t say for sure if he’d have recognized her if he’d been sober or not. Either way he did know one thing with certainty—she was beautiful. He never would have guessed the waif of a girl he’d recalled would turn into this breathtaking female. She’d grown up not far from his home, and yet, he realized he knew next to nothing about her. His father had mentioned once that she’d make a wonderful addition to their family. Luther had ignored him of course. Why would he want to attach himself to the first female he had ever known? There were so many to choose from after all. Well, now he realized he hadn’t needed to go far to find a woman that intrigued him. As time went by it was becoming rather clear how much of a fool he’d turned into.

  “Are you enjoying London?” What a ridiculous question. He wasn’t even sure how long she’d been in town. “I mean…”

  “I can discern what it is you meant.”

  She didn’t sound particularly happy. Luther held in a sigh. There had to be a way to get into her good graces. First he hadn’t recognized her and now he had somehow inadvertently insulted her a second time. What could he possibly say to her now? “It seems I must apologize.”

  “There’s no need.” Her voice was dismissive. “I don’t expect you to pander to me. We’re barely acquainted.”

  She was correct. They both were well aware of their lack of familiarity. They attended the same functions and their families held the yearly county fair together, but they didn’t socialize beyond that. He’d ignored her most of her life. She was probably wondering why he bothered with her at all. “I’d like to change that.” He did hope to court someone when he’d decided to attend the Silverton ball. Why not his closest neighbor? At least they had some semblance of a relationship—no matter how bare it presented itself to be. The fact was that one did exist and he could build on it. That was more preferable than starting at the beginning with someone else. Yes, Lady Diana was exactly what he’d come to find and he fully intended on continuing on the path he’d begun with her.

  “Why?” She met his gaze as he twirled her around the floor. He wished it could just be the two of them. Lady Diana cleared her throat and asked again, “Why? What are you hoping to gain by this?”

  “Is it that much of a surprise? Our families have known each other for ages. Shouldn’t we have a better understanding of each other?”

  “No,” she replied with a small shake of her head. “There’s no reason for it. At some point I’m likely to marry and we won’t have contact at all. My father’s estate will go to my cousin. It’s him you should become more acquainted with.”

  “I respectfully disagree. If you need something more tangible consider the county fair. I doubt your cousin has any idea what that entails. It’s you that held it together for so many years. I know you are the one that plans it down to the last detail even if you can’t attend.”

  She nibbled on her bottom lip and he found her utterly adorable. He shouldn’t be thinking about kissing her, but now it was all he could imagine doing. The dance floor at a crowded ball was not meant for scandalous behavior. He might be a rogue, but he was a gentleman first. If he kissed her it would be somewhere private. That way he could protect her reputation and enjoy her passion. Which some would point out was the wrong thing to consider doing at all. If he were a true gentleman he’d protect her from his licentious intentions.

  “You’re right,” she finally said. “I do arrange most of the fair. My mother gave up a long time ago, and my father was never interested. The villagers look forward to it every year. I probably will help until a time comes I’m no longer needed.”

  He found it sad that she believed that day would ever come. “I’m sure that is a long way off.” And would never happen regardless if she became his wife—she could arrange it however she wanted for the rest of her life.

  “My cousin has already married. If something were to happen to my father it would become their responsibility.” Her lips turned downward and it broke his heart a little bit. “I don’t wish my father ill, but I’m a realist. Some things are not meant to be. My role as hostess for the fair has a limited timeframe. I’ve accepted that.”

  Luther played enough cards that he knew when to hold back from showing his hand. She wasn’t ready to consider him as a possible husband. He could be patient though. They both needed time to become more acquainted with each other. “I’m sure your father will live a long hearty life. You’re right to accept things as they are. It’s much easier to allow yourself time to acclimate with life’s changes that way.”

  “That’s always been my philosophy.” The strands of the song were starting to ebb. “But it’s not always so easy in practice.”

  The corner of his lip twitched upward. “Also true.”

  “I believe that the truth is easiest to accept if you also believe in telling it to yourself; as well as, others. Lies only complicate things unnecessarily.”

  The more she spoke the more he liked her. She’d always been that way if he recalled correctly. The last time they’d spoken they’d exchanged unpleasant words and she’d held nothing back. She’d been speaking to a gypsy… “Tell me something,” he began. “Are you still friends with that gypsy girl from the fair?”

  “Lulia?” She tilted her head to the side. “She’s one of my closest friends. There is no one I trust more.”

  He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. “I see.”

  “You don’t like her—not then and certainly not now. What is it about her you dislike so much?”

  “It’s not her personally. I don’t know her well enough to make presumptions on who she is. It’s more her place in society and in turn, yours. There is a huge gap between your social classes.”

  “And yet that sounds like you are judging her even though you claim you are not.” The musicians stopped playing but the music echoed though the room a few seconds longer. Lady Diana stepped out of his arms. “I have a headache. If you’ll excuse me I’m going to seek out the lady’s retiring room.” She didn’t give him an opportunity to speak again, and turned on her heels to leave him standing on his own in the middle of the dance floor. She wouldn’t even allow him to escort her. Luther had blundered again. If he hadn’t already decided on her he might have given up in that moment. She was feisty, opinionated, and beautiful—Luther didn’t want any other woman at his side for the rest of his days. She would make things interesting and he needed a strong female to speak her mind. The lord knew he’d made enough mistakes in his life, but deciding on Lady Diana w
as not one of them.

  Diana couldn’t get away from him fast enough. Her heart beat heavily in her chest. The dance had been wonderful despite his disheartening words. He thought so little of Lulia without taking the time to understand her. If he wouldn’t do that with her friend why would he take the time with her? She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up where he was concerned. They were too different and he didn’t really want to court her anyway. He had probably asked her as a courtesy—the neighborly thing to do. He hadn’t even recognized her at first, and he smelled like brandy. Perhaps she shouldn’t hold that against him, and yet, she did. She was incredibly disappointed in the whole encounter. Sometimes dreams didn’t live up to expectations, and hers had come crashing down to reality faster than she would have liked. It had started out nice and sigh worthy. Was it any surprise she wanted to run from him as fast as possible? She didn’t want it to get any worse than it already had.

  None of that mattered though. She couldn’t let it because she had a job to do. Lady Mary should already be in the room that had been designated for her to change in, and if need be it was Diana’s job to distract anyone that might see her sneak out into the garden. Hopefully it didn’t come to that though. They’d been doing this for some time now and Lulia planned this part down to the last detail. It was what made her a good partner in these schemes.

  She knocked twice and then slipped into the room so Lady Mary would know it was her entering. Lady Mary was pulling a men’s waistcoat on as she walked in. Good. Her hair had already been secured with a lot of pins so it wouldn’t get in the way during the match. All they had to do now was make their way to the center of the garden. Lulia and Bessie would be there already awaiting their arrival.