Better as a Memory (Begin Again Book 2) Page 3

  He stared at her in silence. Did he think he’d cow her with that look? She rolled her eyes and grabbed her bag. “I need to change the dressing on your wound. Lay back and lift your shirt up.”

  “Are you trying to get me naked again?”

  She turned at him and replied, “Yeah cause I like to maul weak and injured men.”

  “Oh honey, I’m never defenseless. Trust me.”

  She did, maybe she shouldn’t, but something about him made her feel at ease. It was a gut instinct of some sort. He didn’t need to know that though. As far as she was concerned he already held all the cards. She’d have to do something to change that.

  “Tell me your name,” she demanded as she removed the bloody bandages from his side. “I think you owe me that much.”

  “It would be better for you if you forgot about me entirely. My name would make your world more dangerous.”

  It sounded like an excuse. He was keeping a secret to save her. Belle didn’t want or need his protection. What she did need from him was trust and honesty. Dodging questions wasn’t going to endear him any further to her. “Name. Now.”

  “Fine,” he acquiesced to her demand. “But I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  She splashed antiseptic over his wound and he grimaced in pain. It might be evil of her but she was partially glad to see him hunch over. He deserved it for stalling a little bit longer. She wiped the wound with a sterile cloth and picked up a clean bandage to cover it. “Spill it. I’m tired of your excuses.”

  “They aren’t excuses. It’s the truth.” He frowned. “But, since you insist, my name is Cain.”

  Finally something to call him other than Mr. Mysterious. “Cain?” She quirked an eyebrow. “No last name.”

  “Cain will do for now. You don’t need to know any more than that. It really is for your protection.”

  She wasn’t buying it. But she would let it go. At least for the moment, he gave her something. Later she’d grill him for more information. It wasn’t just for her. She needed to know more about him for other reasons. “So who shot you?”

  “That is something else you’re better off not knowing.”

  Belle taped the bandage and pulled down his shirt. “So you’d rather I call the police instead? I should have done so already.”

  “The local police might make things more difficult. I need to call my contact to come diffuse the situation. Get my phone out of the bag.”

  So he was back to ordering her around was he? Well she wasn’t having it. He needed to rest, but she knew he wouldn’t listen to a word she said. Maybe there was danger. She wasn’t acquainted enough with his personal life to make that call. What she did know was she wasn’t his servant and if he wanted his damn phone he could get it himself. Besides she had to finish her check up to make sure he was healing properly. What kind of doctor would she be if she didn’t do a thorough examination?

  “No. I’m not done with you.”

  His lip twitched up. “As I thought, you want to have your wicked way with me.”

  Why did he always jump to that conclusion with everything she said? “I think it’s the reverse actually. You want me to lose my clothes so you can take care of your pleasure.” His eyes narrowed into tiny slits and his breathing became more haggard with her words. What would he do if she did start removing her clothes? He wanted her. It was obvious by the bulge growing in his pants. That hadn’t been an issue between them. His penchant for keeping things to himself was the real issue. They had desire in spades. Belle stood up and slid open a couple buttons to reveal more cleavage. His gaze stayed clued to her actions. “Do you want me to pop open a couple more?”

  “Yes. Please,” his voice dipped an octave lower as he begged.

  “Nah. I’m not in the mood.” She grabbed her bag and set it on the table across the room. “Maybe when you lose your proclivity for keeping secret’s I will do a strip tease you’ll never forget.” She paused and stared him in the eye. “Until then, you can keep your hands to yourself.” She tossed the bottle of pills she’d left him the night before and said, “And take the damn pain pills this time. You will need them.”

  She spun on her heels and exited the room. Belle was done playing Cain’s game. This time, he’d submit to every one of her demands, and do it willingly. If he wanted to play games she’d oblige him. Belle couldn’t wait to see who ended up on top.

  Chapter 3

  Cain adored her. She thought she could leave him wanting her, and he’d actually allow it. His Belle had some things to learn about him. It was time she found out who he really was, and what he truly desired from her. She left the room thinking she’d had the last word, and yes in the literal sense she had, but she’d soon realize words weren’t what mattered. The decisions they made and how they acted on them were what determined where they would go and if they had anything worth fighting for. She was worth it all to him.

  He’d been battling his inner demons and decided to not inflict them on her. Fate had another plan for them. They were meant to cross paths, and be with each other. He saw it all clearly now. If they were to move forward, he had to tell her the truth. At least as much of it as he was allowed to reveal to her. There was much she didn’t know or understand, but in time she’d have it all laid out before her. For now he could tell her about who he was, and the job he’d undertaken. With that she might understand his proclivity for protecting what he believed was his to do so.

  Cain lifted the bottle of pills she’d tossed at him and set them aside. He wouldn’t take them even though she believed he should. Pain pills were for the weak, and he hated how they made him feel. Numbness wasn’t necessary and could end up making his reflexes off kilter. The criminals who shot him would come looking for him, and he had to be alert enough to deal with them when they did. First he’d have to make the call he’d been delayed making when he blacked out. Then he’d go in search of his woman. With slow movements he walked over and picked up the pack with all his important items stowed inside. He unzipped a pocket and pulled out a secure phone. He tossed the pack to the floor and powered on the phone. There was one contact stored inside, a private line to his handler at the FBI. He hit send and lifted the phone to his ear. It was answered after one ring.

  “Thanks for calling Foxhunt Bookings Inc, Dentistry. How may I be of assistance?” A female’s perky voice filled his ear. Cain smiled when he heard it.

  He didn’t waste time and told her what he required. “I’m in need of an extraction.”

  Without missing a beat she replied, “Is this an immediate concern or can you wait for an opening?”

  Sometimes Cain hated the use of coded messages, but even though the phone was supposed to be secure you never could be sure who was listening in. That made them necessary. There were certain things that were already predetermined, but the rest had to be worked into a conversation. His contact was asking if he had to be helped now or if they could work out a more solid plan and come later. In all honesty, Cain didn’t know. They may be combing the area already searching for him, or they could be cleaning up the mess on the other side of the lake and biding their time. He couldn’t be sure, but either way he had to get him and Belle away from the lake house. So he opted for an immediate retrieval. “The pain is growing with each passing second.” Translated danger is imminent.

  “You’re in luck. We have an opening for our last slot of the day.” Which meant when the sun set for the day. “Please be advised that you must arrive at your scheduled time or your appointment will be forfeited.”

  “Duly noted. My female companion will accompany to ensure I arrive on time.” There was silence on the phone at his news. His handler was trying to understand his message without outright asking. To save time he said, “The extraction for the other side isn’t necessary. It’s been removed from the equation.”

  “I will make a note of it in your chart. We will await your arrival at the designated time.”

  “I’ll be there.” And so wou
ld Belle. She just didn’t know it yet. He wasn’t leaving her behind to face the mess following him around. Although he doubted Carlos Garcia would truly harm her. He’d pay for it if he did—and not by Cain’s hand. Garcia’s silent partner would be the one to take him out.

  “Who are you talking to?” Belle asked.

  Cain turned and met her gaze. She had her head tilted as she studied him. “Nothing you need to worry about.”

  “Right. If that’s all you have to say then I’m going to leave you to your own company. I came to see if you’re hungry.”

  Cain gazed at her and looked at her from head to toe. He was hungry all right, but not for food. He wanted her. It’d been too long since he had her in his arms. If he had his way he’d rectify that sooner rather than later. He’d always want to protect her. That wasn’t going to change. It was too ingrained in his psyche to do anything less. The difference was now he believed he could do a better job if he kept her by his side. He couldn’t leave it to chance that she’d stay safe. He might be rationalizing it to make things easier for him to accept because he wanted her too much, but he didn’t care. If he wasn’t meant to have her in his life then she shouldn’t have been practically gift wrapped and presented to him once again. This thing between them was too strong to ignore. She might do a good job of pretending she didn’t desire him and maybe he should let her get away with it, but Cain couldn’t—no wouldn’t give her that out. For now he’d let her believe he was giving her the space she thought she needed.

  “I could eat.” Afterward he’d show her how much they belonged together. Then after they’d go meet the FBI team sent to remove them from the area. “What do you have in mind?”

  She eyed him warily. “What are you up to?”

  Belle must be reading something in his face. Whatever it was he had to curb it down before he scared her away. She didn’t need to realize what his full intentions were before he was ready to unleash them on her. She’d know soon enough.

  “Nothing.” He shrugged. “I’m following your lead.”

  “Right.” Belle shook her head. “Whatever. I’m making soup for lunch. If you want a sandwich to go with it I can make one.”

  “I’m good either way.” Cain shrugged. “Soup is fine. Do you need any help?”

  “Relax in here. I’ll let you know when it’s done.”

  Cain followed behind her toward the kitchen. She wasn’t going to push him away that easily. Besides he didn’t like letting her out of his sight. One of Garcia’s men could show up at any moment. If they managed to reach her first… No, he wouldn’t think about it. She’d be safe. He’d make sure obit. Garcia wouldn’t harm her or he’d anger his partner.

  Belle was an innocent. He hadn’t always been sure of that until he met her. He’d been at that party to delve deeper into some of the attendees. She’d caught his eye and he couldn’t resist having her. After that she owned a part of him he’d never thought he owned. Loving her had complicated his life in ways he’d not foreseen. She’d become more important than his own life. It’d frustrated him that he’d had to leave her behind and hope it would all work out in the end. Now that she was with him again… Nothing would keep her away from him again. This was the tail end of the investigation. They could ride it out together. He hoped she wouldn’t hate him when it was all over.

  “I can make soup without supervision,” she said as she opened a cupboard and pulled out a pan. “It’s not difficult.”

  “I like watching you work.” He winked. “You won’t let me do anything else. I might as well enjoy the view.”

  She glanced over her shoulder and met his gaze. Her mouth fell open as she stared at him. He wanted to cross the room and pull her into his arms. She’d cave under his caress. He was well versed in what she liked and how to make her scream with pleasure. He would wait though until she was ready. There was something holding her back, and once he figured out what it was he could move forward. He could remain patient until she would be more pliant in his arms. That would be entirely more enjoyable when he coaxed her into bed with him again.

  “Fine. At least make yourself useful and set the table.” Belle pointed across the kitchen on the opposite side of the room as she was. “You can find everything you need in the cupboard over there and the silverware is in the drawer below it.”

  Cain almost laughed at her clear indication she wanted some space between them. It was good of her to make him aware how uncomfortable she was around him. That little tidbit would be used to his advantage as the day progressed. He had to be aware of their surroundings. He’d set the table and do a quick perimeter check. It wouldn’t do to be caught unannounced. He’d set up a trap or two to alert him if someone approached the property. Then he’d come back and enjoy this little sojourn with the woman who owned his heart.

  “After I set the table I’m going to take a quick walk. I’m feeling restless.” He pulled bowls out of the cupboard and set them on the counter. “How long will the soup take?” Cain turned toward her with spoons in his hand. “I don’t want to miss out on your culinary expertise.”

  She shook her head and spun to face him with a butcher knife in one hand. Belle had been busy chopping carrots. “I’ll let you know. By all means go and get some air. Don’t worry about the fact you’re injured and could reopen your wound. What do I know? I only went to medical school.”

  The way she was brandishing that knife made Cain think she’d contemplated using it on him. He wanted to hug her and never let go. She was precious. He should act on it. What would it hurt to hold her for a few moments before he scouted the area around them? He set the spoons down next to the bowls, and then made his way to her side. He stopped in front of her, and carefully removed the knife from her grasp to set it on the cutting board.

  “Will you miss me while I’m gone?” he asked.

  She turned her gaze from his. He lifted his hand and placed it under her chin turning her face toward his. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Don’t do this.” Pain filled her gaze. “I can’t take it when you leave again.”

  “I never wanted to leave your side. I promise you will see that it was for the best. A necessary evil to make sure you remained safe.”

  He hated that he hurt her. It was something he’d never wanted to do. All he wanted to do was shelter from the harshness life had to offer. There was too much ugliness surrounding her and none of it should ever touch her. Belle was the epitome of all that was good in the world.

  “You’ll understand if I don’t believe that.” She shook her head. “I don’t fault you. You didn’t make any promises beyond that night, but I can’t get involved with you like that again. A night with you had consequences I didn’t consider. I can’t leap into something without fully understanding what I’m about to accept into my life. I was such a fool to ever allow you into my life to begin with.”

  She attempted to pull away from him. Cain wasn’t having that he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. “I’ve had so many sleepless nights since I left you. You mean too much to me. You’re not a fool for being with me. I’m the fool for leaving you. Trust me one more time. I won’t let you down ever again.”

  “I don’t know if I can do as you’re asking. It’s too much. I don’t know enough about you.”

  Cain understood what she wasn’t saying. She needed more to go on. He’d have to open a vein and bleed his soul onto hers. Belle deserved to know every inch of who he was. It was the only way they’d be able to move forward. Pain cut her too deep for anything else.

  “I’ll leave you be for the moment. When I come back I’ll answer any questions you have. No holds barred—nothing but the truth.” He let her go and left her to contemplate his words. Cain had a lot of work to accomplish before he returned to her. When he did he’d lay it all on the line, and then he’d pray she accepted him into her life. If she didn’t—no he wouldn’t even consider that possibility. It would work out. It had to.

  Chapter 4r />
  Belle stood motionless for several seconds after Cain left the kitchen. He’d said a lot that scared her and thrilled her at the same time. She’d come to the lake house to make some decisions about her life. She’d put in for an extended vacation, packed a quick bag, and headed toward her family summer home without thinking too hard about the reasons why. Her night with Cain changed her, and the direction in her life in so many ways. He still didn’t know the entirety of it. When he came back in she’d have a lot of questions, and she had a few things she needed to open up about herself.

  “Cain has so much to answer for.” She sighed. “I’m the biggest idiot of all because I believe him.”

  She finished chopping the vegetables and added them to the soup already at a boil on the stove. They would simmer for a while and once softened the soup would be ready to eat. She put the lid on the pan and left it to cook on low while she cleaned the kitchen. Her appetite had been lacking and soup was one of the few things she could keep down. It was mild enough her stomach didn’t reject it. So she made huge pots of it and lived off of it. At least it was healthy enough she was getting some nutrition.

  What was she going to do with herself as she waited for him to return? He’d said he hadn’t wanted to leave her. Belle didn’t understand what could possibly have kept him away if he hoped to stay with her. Why would he disappear from her life without a word if he truly wanted to be with her? Was he playing some kind of mind game with her? Should she pack up and drive away and let him see what it felt like to be left behind? No. It wouldn’t do any good. He appeared to know quite a bit about her. If she left she didn’t doubt he’d follow close behind. It was best to stick it out and figure out what her next step should be. If she allowed him to stay in her life it would be on her terms. He’d either accept that or not. She couldn’t let it matter either way. It wasn’t just her she had to think about.